I have an idea for a new thread...

[paul_ct]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. [i doubt that is true, but we can pretend.]

 

·  The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

 

    She said, "If you were my husband I’d give you poison."

 

    He said, "If you were my wife, I’d drink it."

 

·  A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

 

    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

 

·  "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

 

·  "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

 

·  "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

 

·  "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

 

·  "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

 

·  "I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

 

·  "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

 

·  "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 

     "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

 

·  "I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

 

·  "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

 

·  "I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

 

·  "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

 

·  "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

 

·  "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

 

·  "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

 

·  "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

 

·  "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

 

·  "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

 

·  "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

 

·  "He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." - Billy Wilder

 

·  "I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it." - Groucho Marx

[MTBeer]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. [i doubt that is true, but we can pretend.]

 

·  The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

 

    She said, "If you were my husband I’d give you poison."

 

    He said, "If you were my wife, I’d drink it."

 

·  A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

 

    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

 

·  "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

 

·  "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

 

·  "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

 

·  "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

 

·  "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

 

·  "I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

 

·  "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

 

·  "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 

     "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

 

·  "I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

 

·  "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

 

·  "I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

 

·  "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

 

·  "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

 

·  "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

 

·  "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

 

·  "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

 

·  "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

 

·  "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

 

·  "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

 

·  "He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." - Billy Wilder

 

·  "I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it." - Groucho Marx

here is another one from Churchill to some woman - I can't remember who.

 

Woman - "sir, you're drunk"

Churchill - "madam, you're ugly and tomorrow I'll be sober"

['Dale]

['Dale]

[flat29]

[BarHugger]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lXh2n0aPyw

[Cippo]

http://youtu.be/IWSs53l1dms

[Cippo]

http://youtu.be/6MXiHvuioEI

[mon-goose]

we've just clocked up 4400 (as in the series) x10 replies

Edited November 18, 2014 by mon-goose

[Cippo]

http://youtu.be/jxkRoDfJT2s

[Latent_Blue]

How lazy can humans get?

[Hairy]

How lazy can humans get?

lots of wastage with that system

[Raydek]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lXh2n0aPyw

 

Really cool idea, but I think as soon as the novelty wears off that 66% will drop drastically..

Edited November 18, 2014 by Raydek

[Guest Smimby]

Really cool idea, but I think as soon as the novelty wears off that 66% will drop drastically..

Glass half empty? :-)

[Iwan Kemp]

Glass half empty? :-)

 

Probably closer to "realist"

 

When a glass is empty and you fill it 50%, then it is half full. When a glass is full and you drink or empty 50%, then the glass is half empty. 

[Iwan Kemp]

How lazy can humans get?

 

Saw a quote to the tune of "If humans had wings to fly we wouldn't because we'd think of it as exercise."