The only thing you are passionate about

[Sitting@89]

The only thing you are passionate about.

 

I often hear this phrase, when I go out for a training ride that was slightly too long for my misses liking, and come back knackered, desperately wanting a nap.

 

I hear it when I am told that I am bad company at her friends braai because I said Jens Voigt is my hero when the husbands club all discussed rugby players. The same friend who wishes her obese brandy drinking, rugby bef*k husband could look after himself better and get off the couch on weekends.

 

I hear It when planning holidays around cycling, her friend from the braai Was taken on an island holiday, they fought for a week non stop, or so I hear. I take holidays to do more long training rides, I come back calm with all my anger and frustration spent on the road, no island holiday, but also no angry lazy partner.

 

I hear it when I sit and watch the tour and comment on the super human abilities of a rider. I watch sports for 3 weeks of the year thats it! Brandy drinking husband watches rugby at the bar on weekends and often returns home to drunk to make it to bed.

 

I hear it when I carefully weigh my portions to make sure I am in racing shape. At a recent pool party her friends commented on what a fine specimen she had landed herself, (I have to admit this was before I was out of commission for 5 months) brandy drinking husband(s) were also in attendance, needless to say no comparison needed.

 

I hear it when I take the kids out on a ride, while other dads sit on the couch watching rugby and drinking half a case of beer screaming at the kids to go play somewhere else.

 

Here is what I have learned to say to those words, at least I have a passion, that is more than 90% of people can say. From the outside my passion might look like obsession, it might seem strange, however my passion truly makes me a better father, partner and human!

[CogitoErgoSum]

Ah. Yes. The guilt trip bestowed upon you...

 

Well, at least they try their hardest.

 

I admire your tenacity. I still give in too easily to their guilt-trip-bestowing attempts. I don't drink and I am not everyone's mate at the braai.... I do not ride enough because "you don't do anything anymore around here. When you out riding all you want to do is sleep when you are back"

 

Ride on

 

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[V12man]

I feel you...

 

Fortunately I have discovered that if I do the braaiing at a function then I don't have to listen at all to the alchohol fuelled **** that is talked about... and as a result I don't have to eat charcoal... which is what inevitably happens when the brandy drinkers handle the Braai... ok it's not brandy my wife's friends drink it's red wine.....

[Sparky and the Warden]

Never have I read a post so true! I get flack for not drinking at braais and leaving by 23:00 so I can still get some sleep before I get up to go ride at 5am... I couldn't think of a worse way than to spend Sunday man down on the couch feeling sorry for myself because I'm hungover. Since I've discovered Mtb more specifically enduro I'm way more chilled no more "SMS" (short man syndrome)

 

The way I cured my guilt for leaving the missus at home to go ride all the time is I bought another bike for myself! And gave her my old one, so now we ride together on the weekends and it looks as if the bug has bitten her and it doesn't hurt that I got a new bike either....Two stones with one bird...or so the saying goes.

[Eugene]

A story many of us can relate to.

 

But just remember, it doesn't always have to be about the bike. Not every holiday has to be planned around your training schedule. Surprise her and take her on that island getaway

getaway. Leave your bike at home. One week of not training won't kill you.

[DJR]

Balance is the holy grail! Keep searching for it.

[Long Wheel Base]

We don't even go to braai's anymore. I NEED to be in bed before 21h00 otherwise I just can't train properly. If you want me to be at a braai it must be lunchtime and at my house. And I don't drink and neither does my wife so I don't supply dop. I will supply everything else but booze.

 

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[AlanD]

The problem i have is that i hide my biking purchases from certain family members to avoid ridicule as they don't understand why i spent so much money on bike stuff. I dont even wear my Fenix around them.

 

As for braais, i still have a few beers but dont get paralletic amd always wake up early for my ride.

[Mamil]

The thing that rang the most bells with me in this is the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a beer maximum 2 once a week or so but I marvel at just how keen a lot of people are to marinate their brains and anaesthetise their senses with this socially sanctioned drug.

 

In terms of spousal approval I am quite lucky. The worst I endure is quips about not bringing Merida into the bed because grease stains are hard to get out of the sheets and admonishments not to make too much noise when i'm leaving at 5am on Saturday morning to go blundering about some vineyard in paarl or stellenbosch.

[PhilipV]

Well if it is your only hobby and passion I can see why she feels you are obsessed about it. 

My suggestion is:

Still go about your riding lifestyle as you do. Still focus on your healthy eating habits and the solid training routine. This is a passion and this is who you are. If she tries to change you, there may be resentment. And you are a better person after a ride. We all are.  

Make her and your kids a passion as well. Focus on meeting their emotional needs. (I am not saying that this is not what you are doing.Just an idea. Over time she'll feel loved and special and less needy and clingy.) I've been working my ass off and doting on my wife (she is pregnant) to help her where I can, she now actively encourages me to ride as much as I can, even though she can't ride with me now.

Get her a bike as well so that she can join you and the kids on a ride. No pressure, just good solid family time. If the bug bites you score twice. 

Go on the holiday vacation at least once. It's like a second honeymoon.

 

Remember, you're wife and kids are the constant, if you can't ride for 5 months they will be there for you. Make them a priority before you need them.  

[DJR]

Can I introduce another aspect here?

 

I have a few other things in my life that I am passionate about as well, besides cycling! Things like my family, flyfishing, travelling, my dog and even work. All those are important to me and they all play an important part in making my life a full and fulfilled one.

 

As much as I love my cycling, I'm not sure I would be able to have a balanced life if that was the only passion I had.    

[Thor Buttox]

The thing that rang the most bells with me in this is the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a beer maximum 2 once a week or so but I marvel at just how keen a lot of people are to marinate their brains and anaesthetise their senses with this socially sanctioned drug.

 

In terms of spousal approval I am quite lucky. The worst I endure is quips about not bringing Merida into the bed because grease stains are hard to get out of the sheets and admonishments not to make too much noise when i'm leaving at 5am on Saturday morning to go blundering about some vineyard in paarl or stellenbosch.

Grease? Dude, there are better lubes out there... Much cleaner. Just don't compare their dual suspensions or say you may need a new rack, or you will be on your bike.

[Thor Buttox]

Can I introduce another aspect here?

 

I have a few other things in my life that I am passionate about as well, besides cycling! Things like my family, flyfishing, travelling, my dog and even work. All those are important to me and they all play an important part in making my life a full and fulfilled one.

 

As much as I love my cycling, I'm not sure I would be able to have a balanced life if that was the only passion I had.

It is remarkable how quickly a passion can turn into an obsession, especially if your passion is used to help ameliorat the rigours and stresses of life. I am mostly glad that my choice is healthier for the most part than the braai brigade, but I am fookin exhausted this am, wondering if I am overtrained and the call to get out there is still strong. #balance

[Kranswurm]

Broaden your horizons a little....I unfortunately have many obsessions

 

In no particular order

 

Hiking,Diving,Riding,Climbing,Paddling,Kloofing,Caving,Cycling,4x4Adventure,Guitar,Music,Cooking,Reading,Gardening,Grapes,Figs,Olives,Cheese,Dates,Bread and Wine

[Mamil]

Nonsense Thor - you've only ground down 3 or 4 cassettes and worn out a brand new derailleur - you've got plenty more loops to do. Don't be lazy - out of bed, no rest ...  

 

Looking at your Strava history your majesty Mr Buttox I do think you could do with a little bit of gentler riding. Maybe you should spend some time waiting at the top of some D'ville trail for a Mamil to come wheezing precariously up the hill? 

 

It is remarkable how quickly a passion can turn into an obsession, especially if your passion is used to help ameliorat the rigours and stresses of life. I am mostly glad that my choice is healthier for the most part than the braai brigade, but I am fookin exhausted this am, wondering if I am overtrained and the call to get out there is still strong. #balance

[Harryn]

This thread is going to resonate with a lot of people.

 

Pussy whipping is as much a hazard of the sport as is the ubiquitous taxi .

 

Judging by the chit chat on our coffee rides, There seems to be some anecdotal evidence to support the assertion that the more successful a guy becomes, the less is his entitlement to ride, talk about, and buy bikes all day long - even though the enforcement weapon of choice happens to be a handbag which is Prada.

 

@OP if its any consolation- I bet the brandy drinking rugby bef*k boep endowed braai-er also gets at least as much *** as you do. His only advantage is that he is too pissed to give a crap. But if I was in the market for a liver donor, I would choose you any day.