Advice on Divorce

[Rata-tat-tat]

It is a dating site, but as you have been warned there are likely to be some weird woman on it.

 

Rather use Grinder, apparently no loony woman on it.

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[eddy]

Good plan.

 

If you jump in too early you're likely to

 

1. hurt someone who doesn't deserve it

2. end up with a nutcase

3. "fall in love" too soon and end up doubly hurt

4. come across as a nutcase yourself

 

 

^^^^^^  This  ^^^^^^^ 

[Letum911]

I will definitely be taking a fair break until my head is right again

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

 

Still a few months before winter... But winter is coming...

[Slowbee]

Landy

 

How are you holding out dude?

 

Things settled down since your last chat ?

[New Landy new life]

Landy

 

How are you holding out dude?

 

Things settled down since your last chat ?

Struggeling to get finality on the divorce settlement as our mediator is very slow in responding. Finally settled on a flat but I have to sign the lease for 12 month's. Packed up the house contents last night and she moves out this weekend comming.

Going to be better and more peacefull at least.

Unfortunately my son has pulled away from me and he doesn't want to talk really.

 

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[Bateleur1]

Struggeling to get finality on the divorce settlement as our mediator is very slow in responding. Finally settled on a flat but I have to sign the lease for 12 month's. Packed up the house contents last night and she moves out this weekend comming.

Going to be better and more peacefull at least.

Unfortunately my son has pulled away from me and he doesn't want to talk really.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

 

I am pretty sure the mother is feeding him some alternative facts.

[Red Robin]

Been off for a while. Just read through this now.

I am so sorry to those who are going through this difficult processs at the moment. Lots of good advice given so can't add much.

I truly hope that all find peace and happiness this year.

On a lighter note. Thanks Uni I now know what dtf means and yes I had to Google.

[Amberdrake]

Landy doesn't she sign the lease? you just provide the deposit?

[New Landy new life]

Landy doesn't she sign the lease? you just provide the deposit?

Bit complicated as she is black listed and can only un-list herself when she get's my pension payout but we cannot live together for that long so I agreed to help with part of deposit and do the lease in my name for the first year.

Hope that does not come and bite me in the ass.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Bit complicated as she is black listed and can only un-list herself when she get's my pension payout but we cannot live together for that long so I agreed to help with part of deposit and do the lease in my name for the first year.

Hope that does not come and bite me in the ass.

Hmmmmmmmm

 

If I were you I'd get some of that pension payout and a contract between the 2 of you stipulating that the rental be paid up front for the year's lease, and she be listed as the lessee just to protect your ass.

 

You are not the occupant. If anything happens to the place while she lives there, you'll be liable for damages as the lessee... 

Edited February 27, 2018 by Myles Mayhew

[fabes]

It is a dating site, but as you have been warned there are likely to be some weird woman on it.

 

Rather use Grinder, apparently no loony woman on it.

Classic

 

Ask the Cape Town okes

[Amberdrake]

Bit complicated as she is black listed and can only un-list herself when she get's my pension payout but we cannot live together for that long so I agreed to help with part of deposit and do the lease in my name for the first year.

Hope that does not come and bite me in the ass.

I figured something like this is happening, Do your best to protect yourself as myles suggested.

 

Do your best with your son maybe sit him down with a beer (assuming he is of age) and tell him this is not what you wanted. I have seen how a mother poisoned the mind of a child against the father and it is unsettling. Don't look back and say I could have done more.

Good Luck

[GrahamS2]

Hmmmmmmmm

 

If I were you I'd get some of that pension payout and a contract between the 2 of you stipulating that the rental be paid up front for the year's lease, and she be listed as the lessee just to protect your ass.

 

You are not the occupant. If anything happens to the place while she lives there, you'll be liable for damages as the lessee... 

This ^^ There are just too many ways signing a lease for a bitter, black-listed ex can end badly.

 

If you HAVE to, sign a 3 months lease just to get her out, or even a temp month-to-month option. Then she can sort it out once she gets the payout. Don't allow her bad decisions to be your problem any longer.

[Stretch]

Hmmmmmmmm

 

If I were you I'd get some of that pension payout and a contract between the 2 of you stipulating that the rental be paid up front for the year's lease, and she be listed as the lessee just to protect your ass.

 

You are not the occupant. If anything happens to the place while she lives there, you'll be liable for damages as the lessee...

Agreed.. Do it through a lawyer. You don't want to be responsible at all.

 

 

Unfortunately my son has pulled away from me and he doesn't want to talk really.

 

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The wheel will turn.. Be patient.. And dont be absent

[Honkdonk]

Parental Alienation - its a real thing..

[SAGecko]

So after 21 years my wife has had enough and asked to leave me ...

 

Strength my friend.

 

I've been in the process for over two years now. I asked my wife for a divorce on 14 October 2015. It's been a pretty damn crappy ride. In fact I've been so down about it, that I've stopped visiting or posting on the Hub.

 

After many, many delaying tactics by my wife and her lawyer, I have now been granted a court date in October 2019...!

 

I take it you wouldn't be adverse to some advice.

 

I was married to a demon woman. A covert, malicious, malignant narcissist who tried her very best to f*ck me up and to f*ck up my family over the 21 years we were married. 

 

Hopefully, your wife is nothing of the sort but when the fighting starts, as it invariably will if there is any contention regarding assets and accrual, you will not recognise her as the woman you used to love. She will attack you like a vicious stranger. Remember, she's fighting for the rest of her life and you're not included in that life.

 

So try to come to an amicable agreement AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. If you cannot come to an agreement, lawyer up. It will cost a fortune but you have no option whatsoever.

 

I know you didn't want this divorce, but believe me, the best thing for you is to allow the divorce to happen as fairly and as soon as possible. The courts are granting trial dates many years ahead of application at the moment and are giving preference to cases where only the opposing attorneys are representing in court. If you require an expert witness (Your inheritance, your business, maintenance etc.) you will wait for two years or more to get a trial date.

 

One more thing NML... your wife will most likely apply to court for a Rule 43 Maintenance action to be granted against you. This rule was originally intended to force delinquent fathers to pay for their families. You are not, I'm sure, a delinquent father so keep on paying for everything that you have been. If you don't, you'll find that the courts will grant a punitive amount that you will be forced to pay her on a monthly basis.

 

I hope it works out well for you. If I can help you with anything please let me know.

 

Cheers

Gecko.

Edited February 27, 2018 by SAGecko