Advice on Divorce

[gemmerbal]

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Edited May 10, 2021 by gemmerbal

[Amberdrake]

Unfortunately not, i'm in somerset and took me 2 dud lawyers before one that actually got things done. Reasonable cost is very much dependant on honest and clued up part as even expensive lawyers will be worth it in end if they are honest and clued up. (considering long term costs) Divorce is messy and sucky and many many lawyers just play parties to make profit.

[New Landy new life]

Howzit all fellow divorcees 

 

I have a quick question. 

 

The car I gave to my ex as part of the divorce was left in my name but the agreement is filed that she is liable for licensing, fines and upkeep. 

She decided to lend the vehicle to my two kids at various times and between them have racked up almost R6k in fines.

 

As I am two months away from my last Maintenance payment I advised her that I would pay the fines to clear my name and take off the portion from my next payment to her. 

 

She obviously got the hell in and said she told the kids to sort the fines which neither have done.

My son who I still support is working and could afford his small portion but my elder daughter is out of work,  pregnant and is back living with me so I support her 100% ( Don't ask about the father of the unborn ????)

 

Have I a legal footing to withhold a payment if she refuses to sort the fines seeing as I never was involved with the  decision to give her car to the kids?

 

I bought each of my kids a car without the ex helping a cent towards them.

Or do I have to go to court to enforce the paying of the fines as a separate issue ?

 

I think at the same time I am going to take the vehicle off my name.

 

Thanks guys

Edited June 30, 2021 by New Landy new life

[Patensie]

Landy, good to hear about only 2 months to go on maintenance payments! I made payment 17 of 18 on rehabilitative maintenance this morning ????. Thanks for starting this thread way back. The advice given on here helped me so much in working through the whole ordeal. I'm happier now than I've been in a looooooong time.

I don't think it will be a good idea  to apply set-off against her maintenance unless she agreed in writing. The fines were incurred by the kids and it remains their responsibility, not your ex's. (Maybe one of the legal guys on here can confirm or tell me I'm talking utter rubbish) 

In the bigger scheme, if I were you, I'd settle the fines and get the car off my name (and onto the ex's) ASAP. 

[Bateleur1]

On 6/30/2021 at 11:46 AM, New Landy new life said:

Howzit all fellow divorcees 

 

I have a quick question. 

 

The car I gave to my ex as part of the divorce was left in my name but the agreement is filed that she is liable for licensing, fines and upkeep. 

She decided to lend the vehicle to my two kids at various times and between them have racked up almost R6k in fines.

 

As I am two months away from my last Maintenance payment I advised her that I would pay the fines to clear my name and take off the portion from my next payment to her. 

 

She obviously got the hell in and said she told the kids to sort the fines which neither have done.

My son who I still support is working and could afford his small portion but my elder daughter is out of work,  pregnant and is back living with me so I support her 100% ( Don't ask about the father of the unborn ????)

 

Have I a legal footing to withhold a payment if she refuses to sort the fines seeing as I never was involved with the  decision to give her car to the kids?

 

I bought each of my kids a car without the ex helping a cent towards them.

Or do I have to go to court to enforce the paying of the fines as a separate issue ?

 

I think at the same time I am going to take the vehicle off my name.

 

Thanks guys

Don't you normally have a form that you can fill in to say who the driver was at the time of the traffic offence.  Just put the ex's details there and send it back to the traffic departments.  And yes get the car off your name.

[Amberdrake]

On 7/5/2021 at 4:34 PM, Bateleur1 said:

Don't you normally have a form that you can fill in to say who the driver was at the time of the traffic offence.  Just put the ex's details there and send it back to the traffic departments.  And yes get the car off your name.

Do this. Do not offset payment even if she agrees in writing, unless its ordered and confirmed in court. If it ends up in court they ignore the agreements and just follow filed paperwork. Friend had this with his maintenance payment, he wasn't really getting paid early covid and had agreed together they will adjust etc  and work on repayment plan. She ran out of cash for holiday and sued him, he was forced to take out a loan even though they had an agreement in writing. 

On better news after 2 years and 8 months im finally Divorced. Ex will be moving out by nov 11 if all goes well with pension payment to her (out of my hands really she has to file claim). 

Really relieved and somewhat disappointed it took this long as this is almost what i offered in first place.

My 15 years of payments start now  just for the kiddy though

 

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

4 hours ago, Amberdrake said:

Do this. Do not offset payment even if she agrees in writing, unless its ordered and confirmed in court. If it ends up in court they ignore the agreements and just follow filed paperwork. Friend had this with his maintenance payment, he wasn't really getting paid early covid and had agreed together they will adjust etc  and work on repayment plan. She ran out of cash for holiday and sued him, he was forced to take out a loan even though they had an agreement in writing. 

On better news after 2 years and 8 months im finally Divorced. Ex will be moving out by nov 11 if all goes well with pension payment to her (out of my hands really she has to file claim). 

Really relieved and somewhat disappointed it took this long as this is almost what i offered in first place.

My 15 years of payments start now  just for the kiddy though

 

Any written agreement can be taken to court to put on the record though, then it is seen as legally binding. A schlep but covers you.

Congrats, I think, on the divorce. Strange thing to say.........

[New Landy new life]

I managed to get the car off my name last Friday, even though we had to meet together after 12 months of no contact at the ML department. She got it roadworthied and in her name same day and I took the fines off my  2nd last alimony payment and there were no complaints.

Shu. Nothing further tying me to her.

 

Clean slate.

 

 

Edited August 25, 2021 by New Landy new life

[Grass Muncher]

Hey, I need advice. 

The guy who is being divorced has a curator who is also his brother, the brother is scared that he has to look after his his brain dead brother once his wife divorced him. 

You cannot go to the Supreme Court until you show them that you have undergone mediation as far as I know. 

The brother refuses to respond or accept a date from the lawyers for mediation. 

Its been 4 months and still no mediation meeting. 

The sane brother wants the whole house as well has half of the wife's pension. The settlement didn't work ovcourse because he is unreasonable as ****. 

Supreme Court will be the only option for the wife to get a divorce.

What is the next step with the mediation? 

[@ndy]

Hope all you divorced Hubbers are enjoying better times. 

I'm also currently going through the process. I'm married out of community of property with no accruals. Thankfully there are no kids involved.

After funding my wives business I'm about as close to bankruptcy as I think a guy can get and this has been compounded by all the recent interest rate increases. I have nothing but a little asset value left i my house.

Does anyone know what happens when the settlement agreement goes absolutely nowhere? I simply cant afford to come close to meeting her requirements. I'm already relying on family handouts just to rent an apartment for myself which is a bit depressing to say the least.

[IceCreamMan]

4 hours ago, @ndy said:

Hope all you divorced Hubbers are enjoying better times. 

I'm also currently going through the process. I'm married out of community of property with no accruals. Thankfully there are no kids involved.

After funding my wives business I'm about as close to bankruptcy as I think a guy can get and this has been compounded by all the recent interest rate increases. I have nothing but a little asset value left i my house.

Does anyone know what happens when the settlement agreement goes absolutely nowhere? I simply cant afford to come close to meeting her requirements. I'm already relying on family handouts just to rent an apartment for myself which is a bit depressing to say the least.

What is needed to be settled?

 

Good luck and best wishes. Divorce is traumatic no matter the circumstances. But ultimately worth it in many cases. 

[@ndy]

6 minutes ago, IceCreamMan said:

What is needed to be settled?

 

Good luck and best wishes. Divorce is traumatic no matter the circumstances. But ultimately worth it in many cases. 

Thanks ICM

I’m not sure what she is entitled to but she is asking to take a a lot of items from the house which is mostly fine by me even though she hasn’t contributed much towards them.
 

She wants the car registered in my name which she drives that is financed for more than it’s worth and a lump sum which I don’t have. So it’s very hard to see how I’ll ever get an agreement. Meanwhile she’s living rent free in my house while I rent a flat so I cannot wait forever. So it’s really worrying how long these things can drag out yet hard to see how we will ever agree on an anything. 

[IceCreamMan]

1 minute ago, @ndy said:

Thanks ICM

I’m not sure what she is entitled to but she is asking to take a a lot of items from the house which is mostly fine by me even though she hasn’t contributed much towards them.
 

She wants the car registered in my name which she drives that is financed for more than it’s worth and a lump sum which I don’t have. So it’s very hard to see how I’ll ever get an agreement. Meanwhile she’s living rent free in my house while I rent a flat so I cannot wait forever. So it’s really worrying how long these things can drag out yet hard to see how we will ever agree on an anything. 

Bud. Best advice I can give you is lawyer up if not done so. 
 

having an ANC should mean you do not owe each other anything however it’s not always cast in stone. If I was you I would move back and take the car. It’s yours. (Financed). 
 

dude, sounds like you getting ****** here. 

[@ndy]

Yeah I have a good very expensive lawyer. He’s confident but I’m still nervous. I’m already trying to save money and talk less about some of the details. The first time we spoke I spent a few hundred rand hearing about how much he loved his new E bike.

[Hairy]

1 hour ago, @ndy said:

Yeah I have a good very expensive lawyer. He’s confident but I’m still nervous. I’m already trying to save money and talk less about some of the details. The first time we spoke I spent a few hundred rand hearing about how much he loved his new E bike.

There is a world of information over here

https://wilddog.net.za/threads/wd-divorced-club-die-worshonne.150562/

[IceCreamMan]

2 hours ago, @ndy said:

Yeah I have a good very expensive lawyer. He’s confident but I’m still nervous. I’m already trying to save money and talk less about some of the details. The first time we spoke I spent a few hundred rand hearing about how much he loved his new E bike.

Good luck dude. I have not kept track of divorce in za for many years so take it like that. Sounds like yr ex out to shaft you. 
 

whars the point of contracts really? 
 

good luck.