Paddaman Posted January 10, 2018 Share For the trekkies out there, there may be a few pearls of wisdom on this site: http://www.sjtrek.com/trek/rules/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IceCreamMan Posted January 10, 2018 Share Come on, guys. These disgusting, misogynistic jokes have no place on this thread. agga no man....lets not be so in touch with our feminine side we forget we men hey.. See what Catherine Denevue has to say recently, damn true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatopek Posted January 10, 2018 Share It often seems to me that the so-called 'small stuff' can lead to the biggest of conflicts. As MJ pointed out, I think complacency becomes a big issue in long term relationships. The large and small romantic gestures become less frequent, you don't always watch your tone when communicating and sometimes end up using the other person as a punching bag (chill - not literally) to vent anger for other anger and frustrations in life. It's important to always be conscious of being present (not drift into your own little world - my problem a lot of the time) and figure out what the SO understands as signs of commitment, affection and love. Apparently, people have different 'love languages' and you need to understand yours and the SO's.This, especially the SO. Did the course 15 years ago with my second/current wife. No magic trick, but help a lot with the winging. Still amazed today with what personal flaws I can get away / freedom I have by making sure I focus a little bit on her priority love language(s). It make it light work, but constant. Weird thing is that I received the course from a dominee that is now divorced.... Maybe just a warning that is not 100% science....but indeed partial winging it / proof that you have zero control over your partner's emotions that might gets out of sync that side... i.e. luck intern 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatopek Posted January 10, 2018 Share An attempt to lighten the mood - a personal experience on why I spend my first post split 'single' night sober: The night when the shite went South, I was still the gentleman and told the x to stay in the house as an interim arrangement and I will find accommodation - it was 23:00. Found a cheap hotel in the wrong side of town, drop my backpack and went looking for a bar (probably the last place where you would usually find me). Found one down the road, storm in and immediately downed my first beer at the counter. Midway trough the second beer I started to read trough information sheets stacked on the counter - and when the second one also had a very non-heterosexual target market my suspicion suddenly kicked in. Turned around for the first time - to see two guys close dancing on a very romantic song. "Pyl uit n boog" - back to my crappy cheap hotel room. Spend the night sober & miserable. And alone edit - spelling Edited January 10, 2018 by Zatopek Letum911, Gen, intern and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gen Posted January 10, 2018 Share This, especially the SO. Did the course 15 years ago with my second/current wife. No magic trick, but help a lot with the winging. Still amazed today with what personal flaws I can get away / freedom I have by making sure I focus a little bit on her priority love language(s). It make it light work, but constant. Weird thing is that I received the course from a dominee that is now divorced.... Maybe just a warning that is not 100% science....but indeed partial winging it / proof that you have zero control over your partner's emotions that might gets out of sync that side... i.e. luckEh....a love language? I bet you if I had to take that test the result would be..."could not calculate you are heartless " [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intern Posted January 10, 2018 Share An attempt to lighten the mood - a personal experience on why I spend my first post split 'single' night sober: The night when the shite went South, I was still the gentleman and told the x to stay in the house as an interim arrangement and I will find accommodation - it was 23:00. Found a cheap hotel in the wrong side of town, drop my backpack and went looking for a bar (probably the last place where you would usually find me). Found one down the road, storm in and immediately downed my first beer at the counter. Midway trough the second beer I started to read trough information sheets stacked on the counter - and when the second one also had a very non-heterosexual target market my suspicion suddenly kicked in. Turned around for the first time - to see two guys close dancing on a very romantic song. "Pyl uit n boog" - back to my crappy cheap hotel room. Spend the night sober & miserable. And alone edit - spelling Gay bars are often a whole heap of fun - and the same can be said for gay people. There's nothing to be afraid of... BigDL 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Buttox Posted January 11, 2018 Share Eh....a love language? I bet you if I had to take that test the result would be..."could not calculate you are heartless " [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Sent from my SM-G950F using TapatalkSlovakian is a love language, right, Gen? ???????? Gen 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatopek Posted January 11, 2018 Share Gay bars are often a whole heap of fun - and the same can be said for gay people. There's nothing to be afraid of...Agree. That was 20 years ago, young with insecurities, wrong side of town, wrong night, wrong emotional state and not in a group/with friends. Today I'm at a point where just assume other people know me and I don't need the associated explaining every time that i'm OK with it, about my very close gay family members & friends... DJR, intern and BigDL 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escapee.. Posted January 11, 2018 Share Gay bars are often a whole heap of fun - and the same can be said for gay people. There's nothing to be afraid of... Couple of years ago, at a bachelors party we ended up at Ramp Divas in Boksburg. What a jol intern 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChUkKy Posted January 11, 2018 Share Gay bars are often a whole heap of fun - and the same can be said for gay people. There's nothing to be afraid of... Just gotta be nervous if they ask to push your stool in... Kalahari Vegmot, Uni, Long Wheel Base and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uni Posted January 11, 2018 Share Just gotta be nervous if they ask to push your stool in...chirp of the freakin' year ! Harryn and ChUkKy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uni Posted January 11, 2018 Share I have no leg to stand on being not married, nor never married - but have lots of people around me going through it - one thing that rings true for me. the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Good luck to all you going through it. Gen, New Landy new life, ChUkKy and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev null Posted January 11, 2018 Share A slight hi-jack... This thread is called: advice on divorce...I could not find a thread called: advice on marriage... Do people in marriages know what they are doing or are we just winging it?Sure, not all advice will work for everyone...but who knows... Anyway. thinking out loud. Gotta go work. We have been married for 21 years this past December. We had a big bump at 6 years when she made some horrible life choices, but I stood my ground, refused to budge and told her she was making a horrible mistake based on misinformation from a third party that had a particularly sick outlook on life. She saw the light, remedied her mistakes and decided to work on herself as a person and sort out her past which was having an influence on her relationship with me (she was sexually molested when she was 7). Today, our relationship is great. We regularly cycle together and know each other's issues and strong points. We know that when kids leave home in a few years that we will have something that we both love to do together. We also allow each other some alone time to do what we each love to do. The only advice I can give is that love is not a buzzy, feel good feeling. It is a commitment to lay down your life for someone you love, and to make that commitment every morning when you wake up. DJR, Andrew Steer, coppi and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchelicious Posted January 11, 2018 Share Landy, how you holding up dude? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SURFER Posted January 12, 2018 Share yeah. Had a good mediator, and we both kept our heads (mostly) Who was your mediator? I am looking for one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 12, 2018 Share Who was your mediator? I am looking for oneAshley Curran of du Plessis & Curran in Kenilworth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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