Diagnosed with stage 4 cancer - the long winding road it has become

[Cois]

3 minutes ago, IceCreamMan said:

Cois, post link etc to page please?

Sorry. Should have posted the link.

 

https://www.backabuddy.co.za/champion/project/francois-marais

 

thanks IceCreamMan

 

[RobertWhitehead]

10 minutes ago, Cois said:

Sorry. Should have posted the link.

 

https://www.backabuddy.co.za/champion/project/francois-marais

 

thanks IceCreamMan

 

Done! I can not imagine the stress and crap you are going through, you should not need to worry about money on top of everything else as well 

[Cois]

12 hours ago, RobertWhitehead said:

Done! I can not imagine the stress and crap you are going through, you should not need to worry about money on top of everything else as well 

Thanks Robert.

It is true, but with Momentum you always have a worry.  They stopped paying for some of my blood tests now.  And the blood test are rather important.  They measure my liver enzymes and indicates if the FU5 treatment I am on, causes more damage than good.  But Momentum does not see it that way.  So we have to pay for that tests out of pocket as well now.  So it just puts a load of strain on us.  

My wife is not coping with this at all.  The workplace has started looking at reducing the time she is at work now.  So this bloody disease is starting to break us.

I also had to make the choice of selling my bike (started noticing that my folks are starting to take account of all the things I have) - I know it is sick, but this has been going on for a few weeks now.  Even little remarks that was passed on to make sure what items I bought and what items Reinet bought.  So not sure what they are attempting to do, but will set up a will so that they will not be able to take anything.  As if I do not have enough crap, I have to deal with this as well.

I have decided to come in to work today.  I have a few things that I need to do.  This morning I woke up and the first thought was where is my bucket.  Was just in time to grab it and started vomiting.  So the radiation therapy is taking its toll at the moment.  It is hitting a lot harder than the last rounds of radiation.

[Cois]

Thanks for everyone for the donations.  Will help to stop a few more holes being poked open by Momentum taking us for a ride.

[Karman de Lange]

3 minutes ago, Cois said:

Thanks Robert.

It is true, but with Momentum you always have a worry.  They stopped paying for some of my blood tests now.  And the blood test are rather important.  They measure my liver enzymes and indicates if the FU5 treatment I am on, causes more damage than good.  But Momentum does not see it that way.  So we have to pay for that tests out of pocket as well now.  So it just puts a load of strain on us.  

My wife is not coping with this at all.  The workplace has started looking at reducing the time she is at work now.  So this bloody disease is starting to break us.

I also had to make the choice of selling my bike (started noticing that my folks are starting to take account of all the things I have) - I know it is sick, but this has been going on for a few weeks now.  Even little remarks that was passed on to make sure what items I bought and what items Reinet bought.  So not sure what they are attempting to do, but will set up a will so that they will not be able to take anything.  As if I do not have enough crap, I have to deal with this as well.

I have decided to come in to work today.  I have a few things that I need to do.  This morning I woke up and the first thought was where is my bucket.  Was just in time to grab it and started vomiting.  So the radiation therapy is taking its toll at the moment.  It is hitting a lot harder than the last rounds of radiation.

Good luck with the folks.....  been there.... I have no "raad" how to help on that one.  I just stopped talking to mine  ????

Make sure to show your wife some love each day....   even just that random weed flower you picked from the grass will help (well, does for me).  I cannot even imagine what you guys are going through... but thinking of you in this time.

 

 

[Dexter-morgan]

Klein donasie gemaak, Ek is seker elke betjie sal help, Sterkte voorentoe.

[Mamil]

I don't know you Cois but I think of you often and come looking for this thread to read your news. Best wishes

[ChrisF]

Cois it makes me sick to make this post .... but hopefully the lessons we learnt may safe your family a wack of money and grief ....

 

Please see a lawyer or similar to assist with your last will - pay a once off fee for this.  (with any luck somebody in this field on the Hub can assist)

 

DONT go via a bank or similar.  The fine print gives them 3,5% + VAT on the GROSS value of your estate, ignoring all debt and medical bills etc .....  They WILL sell her car and other items to get their fees !!!

 

In your will nominate your wife, or another trusted party as the executor.  They can then approach lawyers or accountants to do this on their behalf for a fixed fee.  As an example, with my uncle the 3,5%+VAT would have been a few hundred thousand rand, the accountant did it for R50k.

 

 

 

[Cois]

2 minutes ago, ChrisF said:

Cois it makes me sick to make this post .... but hopefully the lessons we learnt may safe your family a wack of money and grief ....

 

Please see a lawyer or similar to assist with your last will - pay a once off fee for this.  (with any luck somebody in this field on the Hub can assist)

 

DONT go via a bank or similar.  The fine print gives them 3,5% + VAT on the GROSS value of your estate, ignoring all debt and medical bills etc .....  They WILL sell her car and other items to get their fees !!!

 

In your will nominate your wife, or another trusted party as the executor.  They can then approach lawyers or accountants to do this on their behalf for a fixed fee.  As an example, with my uncle the 3,5%+VAT would have been a few hundred thousand rand, the accountant did it for R50k.

 

 

 

 

Thanks Chris

My wife work for PSG so we are sorted.  She is getting all the needed paperwork today so that we can do the last will ASAP.  I will make her the executor as I have zero trust in my family. 

My brother became a Euro chaser that is only worried about his millions at this stage.  My folks are waiting to swoop in and take all they can. 

At least I know my uncle from Roam Rooiberg will look after Reinet.  I have all my trust in oom Jacques and tannie Tertia.

It just sucks that all have to go to this point. But expected this much, but not from my folks.  That is just a low blow.

[Cois]

1 hour ago, Dexter-morgan said:

Klein donasie gemaak, Ek is seker elke betjie sal help, Sterkte voorentoe.

Baie dankie @Dexter-morgan.  Elke sent sal help.  Baie baie dankie.

[Karman de Lange]

6 minutes ago, ChrisF said:

Cois it makes me sick to make this post .... but hopefully the lessons we learnt may safe your family a wack of money and grief ....

 

Please see a lawyer or similar to assist with your last will - pay a once off fee for this.  (with any luck somebody in this field on the Hub can assist)

 

DONT go via a bank or similar.  The fine print gives them 3,5% + VAT on the GROSS value of your estate, ignoring all debt and medical bills etc .....  They WILL sell her car and other items to get their fees !!!

 

In your will nominate your wife, or another trusted party as the executor.  They can then approach lawyers or accountants to do this on their behalf for a fixed fee.  As an example, with my uncle the 3,5%+VAT would have been a few hundred thousand rand, the accountant did it for R50k.

 

 

 

You can actually take it away from the bank afterwords ... we in that process with my dads estate (The bank said due to covid deaths it will take them more than 2 years to wrap it up so we deciced to do it ourself).   It is a REAL pita as you deal with govemunt and paperwork is always missing/wrong etc.  The switch over process already been going about 6 months... ????

 

[ChrisF]

8 hours ago, Karman de Lange said:

You can actually take it away from the bank afterwords ... we in that process with my dads estate (The bank said due to covid deaths it will take them more than 2 years to wrap it up so we deciced to do it ourself).   It is a REAL pita as you deal with govemunt and paperwork is always missing/wrong etc.  The switch over process already been going about 6 months... ????

 

 

Most interesting that they are willing to let it go.  

 

 

In terms of the times :

 

- A will "nominates" an executor.  Only the master of the supreme court can "appoint" the executor, after checking the person is not in default and of sound mind yada yada ....  Punch line, under good conditions this process took anything from from 6 weeks to 3 months.  With about a 50% increase in total number of deaths since covid the master's office simply cant cope !!!  LOTS about this in the press already .... so the very first step of the process now drags out horribly ....

 

Worth noting that NOTHING can be done until the executor is not officially appointed.

 

- Step 2 is some basic paper work, which really could run parallel to step 1.

 

- Step 3 - the estate must be advertised in the media and a 6 week period is allowed for feedback from potential claimants, etc.

 

- Step 4 - now the hard number crunching happens .... this is where things goes pear shaped if there is not enough money to cover the executor's fees.  This step also checks all the wishes in the will and that it can be executed practically, i.e. kids under 18 needs a trust, etc ....  Once everything is in place the next step can happen.

 

- Step 5 - Another add is run in the media, think this one was 3 or 4 weeks.

 

- Step 6 - if these adds did not deliver some claims, the finances are in order, etc, now finally the goods may be distributed, cars registered in the new names, home re-registered, etc .....

 

2010 we went through this with my mom's estate.  A friend worked in the executors office and streamlined the process as much as legally possible.  Still took just over 6 months.

 

 

 

This certainly is not a popular topic.  And yet we owe it to our families to understand the process and and to ensure our ducks are in a row ....

[Stavros94]

Praying for you every day !

[Scary Rider]

Ons hou aan bid, Cois. Jy gaan hierdie ding wen. Sterkte vir jou en jou vrou. 

[Slowbee]

Cois, you might recall that little girl we helped a while ago with a hub fundraiser?

I have not been able to get hold of the family to give them the money. I am sure hubbers will not mind if we send these last bits to you. 

I just ask that you (or another hubber) post your bank details as I cant find them going back on this thread.

SB

[Cois]

On 9/30/2021 at 11:48 PM, Slowbee said:

Cois, you might recall that little girl we helped a while ago with a hub fundraiser?

I have not been able to get hold of the family to give them the money. I am sure hubbers will not mind if we send these last bits to you. 

I just ask that you (or another hubber) post your bank details as I cant find them going back on this thread.

SB

I am sitting here in tears! Thanks SB. It will help a lot.

????

and thank you to all the Hubbers that helped with Backabuddy. It helps a lot just to be able to pay Momentum to stop their and the rest of the doctors calling and asking for money.

I will never be able to thank everyone for the messages and help both mentally, with prayers and financially. Without the help from you guys I am sure that I would have been dead by now, but you give me a reason to wake up every morning to fight.

My account details are:

 

Account Holder: Mr FH Marais
Branch: Investec Bank Limited
100 Grayston Drive,

Branch code: Sandton 580105

Client account number: 50017804320

Type of account: Savings

Edited October 22, 2021 by Cois