Advice on Divorce

[Honkdonk]

Must be tough with such small children Honk, feel for you.

 

I only get to see my son one weekend a month and that is very hard.

 

He turns 18 on Friday and I hope I get to see him at least for a few hours. 

Thanks Landy. Yes, it's very difficult.

[The Bull Shark]

Here's a bloke that dodged a major bullet. Hope none of you are married to such a women.

 

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/a22838613/wedding-shaming-twitter-thread/

[Mojoman]

Here's a bloke that dodged a major bullet. Hope none of you are married to such a women.

 

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/a22838613/wedding-shaming-twitter-thread/

I was just going to have a bring and braai if I ever got married....

[Gen]

I was just going to have a bring and braai if I ever got married....

Best thing to do .. people spend way too much money on their wedding day.

[Honkdonk]

So they leave on the 18th October. I spent this afternoon getting all the documentation signed and done.

 

I sent my eldest daughter a email yesterday. We created a gmail account for her a while back, she doesn't have access to it yet. But I wanted to tell her how i felt and what my reasons were for leaving her Mom and how I felt about them leaving. I sobbed hard. Tears and snot pouring while I typed it out. I don't expect her to read it or reply, yet - I just needed to get it off my chest and some times its easier to write than it is to talk.

 

I never ever thought it would come to this

[Uni]

So they leave on the 18th October. I spent this afternoon getting all the documentation signed and done.

 

I sent my eldest daughter a email yesterday. We created a gmail account for her a while back, she doesn't have access to it yet. But I wanted to tell her how i felt and what my reasons were for leaving her Mom and how I felt about them leaving. I sobbed hard. Tears and snot pouring while I typed it out. I don't expect her to read it or reply, yet - I just needed to get it off my chest and some times its easier to write than it is to talk.

 

I never ever thought it would come to this

Let technology help you say what you can't. They will ask why, and all you can do is keep telling them you love them.

 

I'm not a mother but i am a daughter. They will always be your babies. And each day our world gets smaller.

*hug*

[Slowbee]

Jeepers Honk, that is gut wrenching.

[New Landy new life]

Aai man. Just know that they will take all the good memories of you with them.

I also did the mail to both my kids but did not go into much detail but just to tell them how much I regretted what had happened and how much I still love them. Never got a return mail but at least they know their old man cares for them both.

[GrahamS2]

So they leave on the 18th October. I spent this afternoon getting all the documentation signed and done.

 

I sent my eldest daughter a email yesterday. We created a gmail account for her a while back, she doesn't have access to it yet. But I wanted to tell her how i felt and what my reasons were for leaving her Mom and how I felt about them leaving. I sobbed hard. Tears and snot pouring while I typed it out. I don't expect her to read it or reply, yet - I just needed to get it off my chest and some times its easier to write than it is to talk.

 

I never ever thought it would come to this

Letting them go to a better future is just about the most selfless thing you can do. They will realise that at some stage.

[Slowbee]

Much respect Honk.

 

Agree with Graham - and I hope they will see it the same way some day.

[Kalahari Vegmot]

Letting them go to a better future is just about the most selfless thing you can do. They will realise that at some stage.

Uhm.....no.

[GrahamS2]

Uhm.....no.

Uhm, care to elaborate?

[Kalahari Vegmot]

Uhm, care to elaborate?

I don't think such a thing as a "better future" exists if the idea of "better" means living in a first-world country, but living without a dad. 

[GrahamS2]

I don't think such a thing as a "better future" exists if the idea of "better" means living in a first-world country, but living without a dad. 

Fair comment. But his kids will have far great opportunities in NZ, that much is certain. I guess a lot depends on how well his relationship as a father works at a distance.

[Guest]

.

[Honkdonk]

Fair comment. But his kids will have far great opportunities in NZ, that much is certain. I guess a lot depends on how well his relationship as a father works at a distance.

Its a fair comment this. It will be put to the test for sure. But its up to me to make the best of a bad situation. 

The kids had their last visit with my folks yesterday. It was a hard goodbye for the grandparents. They go overseas this week and get back after the kids leave.

 

Emotionally it is very hard. My appetite has vanished along with any desire to get on my bike and ride. I have good folk around who support me and listen. I find the best way to deal with things is to talk about it and not keep things bottled up.

 

Its a new normal