Advice on Divorce

[Ed-Zulu]

Ag thats nothing.I have done two stage races with my ex and we survived..

Kransie, jy het groot brons knaters, of julle braai nog saam?

[Kranswurm]

Why would you ride with your ex? What did the current say?

Why not?

[Kranswurm]

Most women that I have dated would not have been too happy. #respecttoyourcurrentlady

You don't throw away a lifetime

[Patensie]

So wish me luck everyone going into lockdown with ex in same house...... right now my old lawyer really really is spotting for the worst person of the century award.

same boat... could have stayed with kids on my dad's farm, but my daughter (6) will take strain if she doesn't see her mom for a month (or more).

[Amberdrake]

Honestly my daughter is taking strain. She is 2 and she is confused, Daddy and Grandpa is home and taking her shopping and mommy leaves. She watches TV and doesn't get to go to daycare and everyone is stressed around her. Really hope this changes as it all normalizes. (Not that this situation is normal)

[New Landy new life]

Hi All.

Does anyone know the legalities of what I would need to do regarding maintenance if I were retrenched or my salary drastically cut which has already happened this month despite using the little leave I had accumulated in the relatively short time at my current employment.

 

Does one approach the court directly or do you negotiate a way with your Ex rather with or without a lawyer involved.

Appreciate and ideas.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

first direct, then through mediator / lawyer if she's not coming to the party. Always preferable to do it without involving the legal system if you don't have to. 

[Letum911]

Hi All.

Does anyone know the legalities of what I would need to do regarding maintenance if I were retrenched or my salary drastically cut which has already happened this month despite using the little leave I had accumulated in the relatively short time at my current employment.

 

Does one approach the court directly or do you negotiate a way with your Ex rather with or without a lawyer involved.

Appreciate and ideas.

 

You will have to approach the maintenance court asap to reduce the order. If you make an arrangement it is not sufficient and she can actually open criminal cases as well as proceed with execution processes irrespective of an agreement in place.

[Harryn]

You will have to approach the maintenance court asap to reduce the order. If you make an arrangement it is not sufficient and she can actually open criminal cases as well as proceed with execution processes irrespective of an agreement in place.

No.

 

Negotiate first. Always. Run to court as last resort.

[Letum911]

No.

 

Negotiate first. Always. Run to court as last resort.

 

Just my point of view. Had a matter in Kemptonpark Mag Court (criminal division)  Nov 2018 where the parties had an agreement that the father will pay less for a year in order to stabilize his financial position after his employer was liquidated and he had to obtain new employment. 

 

Effect was that in accordance with the order he had to pay R6k p/m, he only paid R3k p/m, fell into arrears with just over R30k, mother fell on financial hardship and approached an attorney, criminal charges was filed and the Magistrate held that there is an order in place that he needs to pay, no agreement can stop the working of an order, client was given 30 days to settle arrears alternatively criminal trial will proceed. 

 

Insofar as I am aware the Maintenance act has not changed iro an order being amended by an agreement inter partes without ever approaching the court, but I do very little maintenance these days. 

 

*Edit: Just to add, the Magistrate took the stance iro non compliance with a Court order and specifically so that no attempt was made to advise the Maintenance Court of his change in circumstances and to lower the amount. 

Edited April 26, 2020 by Letum911

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Just my point of view. Had a matter in Kemptonpark Mag Court (criminal division)  Nov 2018 where the parties had an agreement that the father will pay less for a year in order to stabilize his financial position after his employer was liquidated and he had to obtain new employment. 

 

Effect was that in accordance with the order he had to pay R6k p/m, he only paid R3k p/m, fell into arrears with just over R30k, mother fell on financial hardship and approached an attorney, criminal charges was filed and the Magistrate held that there is an order in place that he needs to pay, no agreement can stop the working of an order, client was given 30 days to settle arrears alternatively criminal trial will proceed. 

 

Insofar as I am aware the Maintenance act has not changed iro an order being amended by an agreement inter partes without ever approaching the court, but I do very little maintenance these days. 

 

*Edit: Just to add, the Magistrate took the stance iro non compliance with a Court order and specifically so that no attempt was made to advise the Maintenance Court of his change in circumstances and to lower the amount. 

Eish. Would it not have been easier to reach an agreement and then make it official with the court, by way of an addendum of sorts?

 

I fully respect the ex's desire to get what has been decided on in the order, but IMO unless there was delinquence or a flat out denial of paying the arrears, it's a bit of a d1ck move to get the courts involved and criminal proceedings against the other parent. 

 

For context - I've seen what something like that can do to someone who is literally on the bones of their ass. A friend of mine used to have the police at his door if the maintenance payment was a couple days late, thanks to his ex calling them. 

Edited April 26, 2020 by Captain Fastbastard Mayhem

[Mudsimus]

No interpersonal agreement supersedes a court order.

[Harryn]

No interpersonal agreement supersedes a court order.

Cite authority for this.

[Letum911]

Eish. Would it not have been easier to reach an agreement and then make it official with the court, by way of an addendum of sorts?

 

I fully respect the ex's desire to get what has been decided on in the order, but IMO unless there was delinquence or a flat out denial of paying the arrears, it's a bit of a d1ck move to get the courts involved and criminal proceedings against the other parent. 

 

For context - I've seen what something like that can do to someone who is literally on the bones of their ass. A friend of mine used to have the police at his door if the maintenance payment was a couple days late, thanks to his ex calling them. 

 

Is a d1ck move I agree. And the state refused to withdraw the matter irrespective of the complainant and Accused reaching an agreement. Was a nightmare indeed!

[Letum911]

Cite authority for this.

 

I tend to agree with Mudsimus, you cannot supersede the working of a court order by an agreement inter partes.

 

However will have to check whether there is caselaw on this. 

[Harryn]

Look.

 

Scenario 1.

 

Mr and Mrs Landy talk.

Mr explains the circumstances.

Mrs understands.

They agree to a temp reduction until Mr‘s earnings are back to normal.

They encapsulate the agreement into a simple one pager, which they sign - or even exchange confirmatory emails.

Non variation clause thus complied with.

provided Mr Landy keeps to the new deal, there is no need to blow money on lawyers or court.

(The children need the money more than the lawyers.)

 

Scenario 2

 

Mr explains the circumstances.

Mrs throws her toys.

They mediate.

Mediation fails.

Court.