Advice on Divorce

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

And I don't want you derail your post... But "mutual comforting" made me smile.. Thanks for that

Ditto. Also made me think of a good friend of mine who "just wanted a shag" after his first was born. Another one popped out 9 months later. 

 

[Jaws677]

Now this is a Landy I would not mind owning

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/321536138606907/

[New Landy new life]

How is it going Donk ?

[Long Wheel Base]

So I want your opinions, My wifes cousin is busy getting a divorce. Now it came as a shock to most of us including his soon to be ex wife. He had told his folks that he was not happy and that's it. So now we all really like his wife and in fact she came over the other day to see my wife and the kids(she is also still talking to/seeing my bil and his wife). So now my oldest lightie turns 3 soon and we having a party. Who do we invite? Inviting them all and having them all come will NOT GO DOWN WELL. We have not seen or spoken to the cousin and his parents since it has happened but plenty to the soon to be ex. ???????????????????

[Escapee..]

So I want your opinions, My wifes cousin is busy getting a divorce. Now it came as a shock to most of us including his soon to be ex wife. He had told his folks that he was not happy and that's it. So now we all really like his wife and in fact she came over the other day to see my wife and the kids(she is also still talking to/seeing my bil and his wife). So now my oldest lightie turns 3 soon and we having a party. Who do we invite? Inviting them all and having them all come will NOT GO DOWN WELL. We have not seen or spoken to the cousin and his parents since it has happened but plenty to the soon to be ex. ???????????????????

 

Invite both, let them figure the details out.

[Amberdrake]

Invite both but inform them before hand so they can sort it out.

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

So I want your opinions, My wifes cousin is busy getting a divorce. Now it came as a shock to most of us including his soon to be ex wife. He had told his folks that he was not happy and that's it. So now we all really like his wife and in fact she came over the other day to see my wife and the kids(she is also still talking to/seeing my bil and his wife). So now my oldest lightie turns 3 soon and we having a party. Who do we invite? Inviting them all and having them all come will NOT GO DOWN WELL. We have not seen or spoken to the cousin and his parents since it has happened but plenty to the soon to be ex. ???????????????????

 

That is a seriously tough situation.

This will be of no help to you but friends comes and go, even family. Many people I felt I was very close to were actually merely friends by association so once my wife passed away the communication just got less and less till they vanished.

If your family gets along with the wife I would invite her and leave the cousin to be for now. It all works itself out in the end but keep the party that positively contributes to your life and family around.

[Escapee..]

We had a very similar situation last year.

 

Family member was also in the process of leaving his wife, we invited both and they both came to the party.

 

They handled it very well even though you could see it wasn't easy for either of them,

[PhilipV]

Invite who you want there. Not who feels they should be there. If it was me, I will  invite the soon to be ex-wife. She is mos welcome to remain a part of the friendship group,marital relations don't matter. You don't have to invite the cousin. If you haven't spoken to him since, then he isn't exactly an integral part of the family. 

And if he is snarky about it, he needs to learn that his decision has consequences, and you get to pick who you want to see at YOUR child's birthday. 

[CAAD4]

Do what you want. My wife teaches toddlers and used to get invited to a lot of (expensive, over hyped) parties and often asked me to join her. Damn I eventually stopped going, because by 2 a lot of parents were so suiped on pink drinks, it was scary.

 

It's about the kids people, not your afternoon to get blotto and not supervise them, resulting in Injuries from jungle gyms... Rant off.

 

Congrats on the first 3 years LWB. Don't let adult politics ruin your laaities special day.

[Rocket-Boy]

Do what you want. My wife teaches toddlers and used to get invited to a lot of (expensive, over hyped) parties and often asked me to join her. Damn I eventually stopped going, because by 2 a lot of parents were so suiped on pink drinks, it was scary.

 

It's about the kids people, not your afternoon to get blotto and not supervise them, resulting in Injuries from jungle gyms... Rant off.

 

Congrats on the first 3 years LWB. Don't let adult politics ruin your laaities special day.

It stopped being about the kids at those parties a while ago. Now its a chance to impress the other mommies. My wife owns a cake shop and says that some of the 1st and 2nd birthday cakes are getting more expensive than wedding cakes! 

Seriously does a 1 or 2 year old even notice the cake? I think not, but the other mommies sure do!

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

It stopped being about the kids at those parties a while ago. Now its a chance to impress the other mommies. My wife owns a cake shop and says that some of the 1st and 2nd birthday cakes are getting more expensive than wedding cakes! 

Seriously does a 1 or 2 year old even notice the cake? I think not, but the other mommies sure do!

Yup. 

 

Google "Cake Smash". Looks fantastic in pictures, but all it is is a popularity contest. OMG look how I spoil my child it's sooooooo *cute*!

 

Essentially it's a contest to see who can ruin the most expensive cake. Drove me mental when I was still married. 

[Long Wheel Base]

Do what you want. My wife teaches toddlers and used to get invited to a lot of (expensive, over hyped) parties and often asked me to join her. Damn I eventually stopped going, because by 2 a lot of parents were so suiped on pink drinks, it was scary.

 

It's about the kids people, not your afternoon to get blotto and not supervise them, resulting in Injuries from jungle gyms... Rant off.

 

Congrats on the first 3 years LWB. Don't let adult politics ruin your laaities special day.

Thanks D. Yeah the day is about my champ so that's why I don't want any issues.

[Gen]

Thanks D. Yeah the day is about my champ so that's why I don't want any issues.

There we go invite who he wants play with on the day..

 

Also good luck..3 year olds in bulk..eina

[dev null]

Yup. 

 

Google "Cake Smash". Looks fantastic in pictures, but all it is is a popularity contest. OMG look how I spoil my child it's sooooooo *cute*!

 

Essentially it's a contest to see who can ruin the most expensive cake. Drove me mental when I was still married. 

 

Exactly why we don't do that stuff anymore. We normally go for a 2 hour session for the kids at Rush, without the accompanying kids party. We buy them some donuts or whatever they want, and let them jump themselves tired. I am sure the parents appreciate the quiet and tired kids that evening.

[Long Wheel Base]

There we go invite who he wants play with on the day..

 

Also good luck..3 year olds in bulk..eina

Wish me luck in 2.5 years time when my twins are 3............ Flip I already look at how bos my 3 y/o plays and just think it's going to be seriously wild in my house soon. Right now my oldest chases the 2 dogs around the house on his plastic bike, I warned the dogs that soon it will be 3 chasing them.