CogitoErgoSum Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 You are going from bad to worse. My purpose in life will not be determined by my sex... but by my choice.Seriously?
Escapee.. Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 Seriously? Is Gen only supposed to be a mother? Where do you draw the line in deciding what she can or cant do? Captain Fastbastard Mayhem, BigDL, Gen and 1 other 4
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 To me the hub is partly home, Its a place I go to keep up to date on news and I Lurk reading posts. Cycling hasn't really been something I have been able to get time lately but I treasured my last trip to Jonkershoek month and half ago. This thread specifically encouraged me to work on marriage rather than end it. With no changes happening from the other side of relationship, and some hurtful words once I brought up how I felt we needed to work on things. I went back and sat down long and hard before making my choice. Today I smile, yesterday I smiled. I have not just smiled because i'm happy about life in years.I would however advice anyone considering things to speak more to your friends and family.I have shocked a large amount of my friends and family because I kept it to myself and hid my pain.100% agree, Amberdrake. The bold bit, for me, has been the biggest difference. And for my son. Steven Knoetze (sk27), Amberdrake and BigDL 3
Amberdrake Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 I do apologize sincerely to you and Landy if I was insensitive at any time. I merely gave my view of only one possible contributing factor to a romantic relationship/marriage breaking down. Strongs to everyone going through a divorse or seperation.I take no offence, I have a thick internet skin (apparently real life its way thinner than I thought).
Sepia Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 This not about Gen! She is right, always right! It is about common sense, respect and a lot of love. (Use it or lose it) Hairy and CogitoErgoSum 2
CogitoErgoSum Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 (edited) . Edited January 31, 2019 by CogitoErgoSum Captain Fastbastard Mayhem 1
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 Nothing was meant to be sexist. Males and females are different. We were created differently. Different emotions, different needs, different way of relating to the world, different hormones, different traits/characteristics, different purposes in life. Man does not equal woman, woman does not equal man. Man has a certain role and purpose on earth, women has a given role and purpose. What is sexist about that? It is when the sexes negate their roles to adopt the other when crap starts in a romantic relationship.Eish, bro. That's a bit too "old testament" to be honest. It's not as cut and dried as that, and there aren't any pre-determined roles that MUST be filled by men / women. Gen's right in that she is able to make her own choice in terms of how she lives her life, and if she's found a partner that complements and enhances her particular traits and personality, then that's awesome. But a relationship's success isn't based upon genders "abandoning" their pre-ordained purpose. Skubarra, Sepia, Patensie and 2 others 5
Skubarra Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 Man has a certain role and purpose on earth, women has a given role and purpose. It is when the sexes negate their roles to adopt the other when crap starts in a romantic relationship. I'll just agree to disagree to not derail this thread completely. Sepia and Captain Fastbastard Mayhem 2
Stretch Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 male traits (being assertive, to be without empathy, to be cold and hard - not to be emotional, can't give afuck attitude, etc).Shlt....I must not be a male Red Robin, Zatopek, Escapee.. and 5 others 8
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 (edited) That is not what I am saying... Read carefully and then again. And what I proposed was merely a little droplet of what could go wrong in marriage. Apart from both parties not pulling their weight in the relationship. I am only saying, society expects a woman to adopt male traits (being assertive, to be without empathy, to be cold and hard - not to be emotional, can't give a **** attitude, etc) to be succesful in their male dominated work environment. Women have to over compensate to succeed in the corporate world. She then goes home, with the same adopted traits and her husband doesn't understand what is going on. And then they fight. I never said women are not allowed in the corporate world. I never said thay should stay at home pregnant.Thanks for the clarification, and the bold bit, I agree with to a certain extent. BUT. It's a good thing. Women SHOULD be more assertive in the workforce, as it'll lead to better success in promotions and salary hikes (simplistically speaking, and in general. Greater levels of assertiveness correlate to higher levels of success in the corporate environment, according to many studies I've read) Also, there are women who are more aggressive / confrontational / "cold" etc than the average man. There are men who are more amiable / conscientious / kind than the average woman. That doesn't mean that if those 2 people are in a relationship, they'll fight / resent each other over time. It just means that people are the same, but also different. What ruins marriages and relationships is no communication, loss of respect, cheating, incompatability and many other things, INCLUDING the ascribing of certain rigid roles to a certain sex. Edited January 31, 2019 by Captain Fatbastard Mayhem CogitoErgoSum, Sepia, Red Robin and 2 others 5
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 Shlt....I must not be a male LOL. Just means that you may be slightly more conscientious than Cogito. Which you're perfectly allowed to be.
Red Robin Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 That is not what I am saying... Read carefully and then again. And what I proposed was merely a little droplet of what could go wrong in marriage. Apart from both parties not pulling their weight in the relationship. I am only saying, society expects a woman to adopt male traits (being assertive, to be without empathy, to be cold and hard - not to be emotional, can't give afuck attitude, etc) to be succesful in their male dominated work environment. Women have to over compensate to succeed in the corporate world. She then goes home, with the same adopted traits and her husband doesn't understand what is going on. And then they fight. I never said women are not allowed in the corporate world. I never said thay should stay at home pregnant.I'm reading carefully and still don't agree. Damn must be bringing my 'adopted traits ' with me from the workplace. Gen, Skubarra and BigDL 3
Thor Buttox Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 LOL. Just means that you may be slightly more conscientious than Cogito. Which you're perfectly allowed to be.There is some seriously biblical reductionism going on here. We need some feng shui and pot pourri to bring out our feminine sides. (Sorry, I'm trying to put the Gen in Gender Neutral...) BigDL 1
Thor Buttox Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 I'm reading carefully and still don't agree. Damn must be bringing my 'adopted traits ' with me from the workplace.No, I just think my marriage is a total sham if he is right. Blackbeard, Skubarra and Gen 3
Gen Posted January 31, 2019 Posted January 31, 2019 (edited) Thanks for the clarification, and the bold bit, I agree with to a certain extent. BUT. It's a good thing. Women SHOULD be more assertive in the workforce, as it'll lead to better success in promotions and salary hikes (simplistically speaking, and in general. Greater levels of assertiveness correlate to higher levels of success in the corporate environment, according to many studies I've read) Also, there are women who are more aggressive / confrontational / "cold" etc than the average man. There are men who are more amiable / conscientious / kind than the average woman. That doesn't mean that if those 2 people are in a relationship, they'll fight / resent each other over time. It just means that people are the same, but also different. What ruins marriages and relationships is no communication, loss of respect, cheating, incompatability and many other things, INCLUDING the ascribing of certain rigid roles to a certain sex.Mutual respect, communication, honesty and actually being able to get on well.. in other words being able to coexist ..to me is more important than love..I have seen far to many toxic relationship to say hold on to love....it alone isn't enough.. that is just my opinion. Edited January 31, 2019 by Gen Captain Fastbastard Mayhem, Red Robin, Thor Buttox and 3 others 6
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