Advice on Divorce

[New Landy new life]

I have personally not once looked on social media to see what the ex is up to. I even deleted her from my Watsapp so she can only get me on an SMS.

For me it was easier to forget her that way and have stuck to it without fail. When she makes excuses to come fetch her remaining stuff, i make sure I put it outside in the back yard and leave a hidden key to the back gate and I then go visit a friend so I don't have to see her. Works for me.

I did notice however that she did like a post on my feed where my girlfriend and I were seen together, so she must be looking what I am up to.

[Amberdrake]

I do use this nickname everywhere, But as she hasn't reacted to things posted here I doubt she checks. In end I refuse to withdraw from everywhere just because she invades my life. I don't use social media much, but It is unfortunately the only means I have of communicating with old friends out of country(yes I am aware whatsapp etc exists not an option however). In end if she wants to know she will find out, there many ways to invade privacy (dont think you lot without social media are safe.)

[Stretch]

It might be human nature, but social media stalking is still creepy.

I've not hired plenty of people based upon their persona on social media

[Patchelicious]

It's not creepy dude it's human nature. When you've been with someone for multiple years and suddenly you're not it's human nature to want to see what they're up to. Fist thing I do when I have to check anything about anyone is look them up on social media. Now the hub is a little bit more obscure and discreet, but given his ex wife knows that he's a cyclist she may very well Google cycling forums... And only get one in SA.... And from there it's simple. My username for example is what I use everywhere.. In fact it's my nickname that everyone knows me by.

 

 

I've not hired plenty of people based upon their persona on social media

 

Following Hub threads to spy on your EX, is very different to vetting people for a job.

[Stretch]

Following Hub threads to spy on your EX, is very different to vetting people for a job.

Point is... Hell has no fury like a women scorned... Blindly assuming she's not watching this is ignorant

[Odinson]

Point is... Hell has no fury like a women scorned... Blindly assuming she's not watching this is ignorant

 

*hath

 

Please use proper Ye Olde English on this thread. There are scorned ex-wives reading this. 

[Patchelicious]

Point is... Hell has no fury like a women or a Stretch scorned... Blindly assuming she's not watching this is ignorant

 

 

So would I

[Stretch]

Exactly...I would be like a scorned women [emoji1787][emoji1787]

[Rocket-Boy]

I did notice however that she did like a post on my feed where my girlfriend and I were seen together, so she must be looking what I am up to.

Ahh the rookie Facebook stalker error!

[Patchelicious]

Ahh the rookie Facebook stalker error!

The other one is by accident liking a 3 year old post on Instagram...... 

[Uni]

Ahh the rookie Facebook stalker error!

there's also the little psychological game of ... I see what you're doing ... 

women - don't try to understand them.

my friend's ex - the mother of his child would not leave the social whatsapp group, and everyone felt too bad to kick her out, so she would see all the plans being made, and then come up with something that needed my mate to be around, or he'd be away for a camping trip and then he'd be called back because the child is sick and **** like that. 

[Rocket-Boy]

there's also the little psychological game of ... I see what you're doing ... 

women - don't try to understand them.

my friend's ex - the mother of his child would not leave the social whatsapp group, and everyone felt too bad to kick her out, so she would see all the plans being made, and then come up with something that needed my mate to be around, or he'd be away for a camping trip and then he'd be called back because the child is sick and **** like that. 

Wow at that point where its impacting your life I would ask the admin to remove her, but do it in the chat itself so that she knew where it was coming from!

[dev null]

Wow at that point where its impacting your life I would ask the admin to remove her, but do it in the chat itself so that she knew where it was coming from!

 

Just start a new group. She will soon leave the group she is in by herself when she sees that it is dormant.

[Honkdonk]

Here's a question for the legal buffs..

 

My ex and I were married and subsequently divorced here in SA under the SA legal system.

She is now resident in NZ with the kids.

As far as I know nothing changes as the divorce order and settlement agreement is written and signed on SA soil and any disputes that may arise we need to do our best to settle amicably and not in a court of law with associated costs. 

We haven't gotten to that stage yet, and hopefully never will, but every now and then she throws something out there saying that I fall under the NZ law. They are not citizens yet and I reckon she is just being full of the brown stuff.

Should I decide relocate to NZ or the UK in the near future then things will change.

 

Anyone have experience with this?

[Amberdrake]

No expert but somehow I highly doubt she can try and apply a NZ law without a new court order.

You'r not subject to NZ law either and it becomes a diplomatic issue.

[Stretch]

As far as I know the law pertains to the legal system of where you were married. For example, here in Ireland you can only divorce after being separated for 4 years (soon to be 2). But if you were married in South Africa and divorced in Ireland, it would be immediate.

Edited June 3, 2019 by Stretch