Advice on Divorce

[Amberdrake]

Wednesday we had the second divorce counseling session. 
It was extremely mentally exhausting, ex still thinks we can work and just need counseling to fix communication.

She however revealed that she doesn't trust me and hasn't for years, also doesn't feel like she can confide in me.

To me those are things that cant just be fixed the years of hurt and scars don't just go away, its no longer about just communication, the self reflection has made me realize other things that was wrong for a long time.

I would still recommend the post divorce counselling, but prepare yourself for some serious talking and emotional pain.

[gemmerbal]

Wednesday we had the second divorce counseling session. 

It was extremely mentally exhausting, ex still thinks we can work and just need counseling to fix communication.

She however revealed that she doesn't trust me and hasn't for years, also doesn't feel like she can confide in me.

To me those are things that cant just be fixed the years of hurt and scars don't just go away, its no longer about just communication, the self reflection has made me realize other things that was wrong for a long time.

I would still recommend the post divorce counselling, but prepare yourself for some serious talking and emotional pain.

 

good luck buddy, hang in there!

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Your gluteus fatteus are not called legs....

????

[PhilipV]

whats a skinny jean???

Like a Billy Jean, just in denim.

[Hairy]

Like a Billy Jean, just in denim.

She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene

I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one

Who will dance on the floor in the round

She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round

She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene

Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one

Who will dance on the floor in the round

People always told me be careful of what you do

And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

And mother always told me be careful of who you love

And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

For forty days and forty nights

The law was on her side

But who can stand when she's in demand

Her schemes and plans

'Cause we danced on the floor in the round

So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice

(Don't think twice, don't think twice)

She told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me

Then showed a photo my baby cried his eyes were like mine (oh, no!)

'Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby

People always told me be careful of what you do

And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

She came and stood right by me

Just the smell of sweet perfume

This happened much too soon

She called me to her room

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

She says I am the one,

(You know what you did, (she says he is my son)breaking my heart babe)

She says I am the one

Billie Jean is not my lover

Billie Jean is not my lover

Billie Jean is not my lover

Billie Jean is not my lover (don't Billie Jean)

Billie Jean is not my lover

Billie Jean is not my lover

[New Landy new life]

Wednesday we had the second divorce counseling session. 

It was extremely mentally exhausting, ex still thinks we can work and just need counseling to fix communication.

She however revealed that she doesn't trust me and hasn't for years, also doesn't feel like she can confide in me.

To me those are things that cant just be fixed the years of hurt and scars don't just go away, its no longer about just communication, the self reflection has made me realize other things that was wrong for a long time.

I would still recommend the post divorce counselling, but prepare yourself for some serious talking and emotional pain.

 

Hey Amberdrake

 

I personally have never heard of post divorce counselling and was wondering what the reason for it was if it seems to be more painful than helpful ?

 

Is it not better just to part company than dig  through years of hurt if you have already decided to let it/her go ?

Edited March 15, 2019 by New Landy - new life

[Gen]

My daughter implied the other day they if I don't buy skinny fit then I'm a grandpa

.

 

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

[Amberdrake]

Hey Amberdrake

 

I personally have never heard of post divorce counselling and was wondering what the reason for it was if it seems to be more painful than helpful ?

 

Is it not better just to part company than dig  through years of hurt if you have already decided to let it/her go ?

its offered by a lady that does normal counselling and was recommended by social worker. Its more about understanding and dealing with each other better As we have young child. The idea is to let go of past and move on. I do think it helped me understand how much she truly never trusted me. I have however on my own and with help of friends and this thread reflected a lot and already done the dealing. ex is not at same space she admits she is angry. I also feel somewhat like she blames everything on me.

[New Landy new life]

its offered by a lady that does normal counselling and was recommended by social worker. Its more about understanding and dealing with each other better As we have young child. The idea is to let go of past and move on. I do think it helped me understand how much she truly never trusted me. I have however on my own and with help of friends and this thread reflected a lot and already done the dealing. ex is not at same space she admits she is angry. I also feel somewhat like she blames everything on me.

Ok, understand. Makes sense now because you stll have kids to raise. Didn't think of that.

Glad this thread is helping also as it did and still does me.

 

 

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

[New Landy new life]

I got a message from the Ex complaining about how I am only now doing things that I did not do while I was married, and how differently things could have turned out had I done them before.

 

I didn't bother to answer but I am getting the feeling she may be regretting her move, or she just had too much wine when she pressed "send"  

[Lotus]

I got a message from the Ex complaining about how I am only now doing things that I did not do while I was married, and how differently things could have turned out had I done them before.

 

I didn't bother to answer but I am getting the feeling she may be regretting her move, or she just had too much wine when she pressed "send"  

From experience, you may get a few more of these (and it may get pretty direct - "I think I made a mistake").

 

I found it quite difficult in the beginning to not respond, but I realised it was best not to go back there. And today, nearly forty years later, I still get that comment from time to time. Makes you feel good though.

[gemmerbal]

as they say: spyt kom te laat.

 

stay strong, dont fall for it.

 

peace brother!

I got a message from the Ex complaining about how I am only now doing things that I did not do while I was married, and how differently things could have turned out had I done them before.

 

I didn't bother to answer but I am getting the feeling she may be regretting her move, or she just had too much wine when she pressed "send"  

Edited March 31, 2019 by gemmerbal

[Kranswurm]

I got a message from the Ex complaining about how I am only now doing things that I did not do while I was married, and how differently things could have turned out had I done them before.

 

I didn't bother to answer but I am getting the feeling she may be regretting her move, or she just had too much wine when she pressed "send"  

Are you sure she is not on here reading your life story 

[V12man]

Are you sure she is not on here reading your life story 

Or on Facebook.... which by the way as a function you can use - "Show Friends except....."

 

Mine has unfriended me..... she doesn't like seeing pictures of my dancer friend....

[New Landy new life]

Are you sure she is not on here reading your life story

No chance, never seen me on this site and no interest in cycling [emoji1] Edited April 1, 2019 by New Landy - new life

[New Landy new life]

Or on Facebook.... which by the way as a function you can use - "Show Friends except....."

 

Mine has unfriended me..... she doesn't like seeing pictures of my dancer friend....

Never posted on Facebook of my new life yet and she has never been a contact/ friend on Facebook even when we were married [emoji54]