Advice on Divorce

[New Landy new life]

For me, things have turned out well.
Have been together with my special person for almost a year already, my kids both love her and her two children who are similar age.
My daughter is back from the USA and her and my son both live together in the duplex my ex bought with my pension payout while she lives with her boyfriend.
I still have my freedom to do what I want and have a companion to share life. She even took up trail running so she could come support when  I do triathlons.
Life is good.

Edited December 17, 2019 by New Landy - new life

[gemmerbal]

It goes to show, there is hope even when the light at the end of the tunnel often times look more like that of an approaching train!

 

Awesome inspiration for those struggling to stay positive. Lekker!

 

 

For me, things have turned out well.
Have been together with my special person for almost a year already, my kids both love her and her two children who are similar age.
My daughter is back from the USA and her and my son both live together in the duplex my ex bought with my pension payout while she lives with her boyfriend.
I still have my freedom to do what I want and have a companion to share life. She even took up trail running so she could come support when when I do triathlons.
Life is good.

[Slowbee]

Hope you are all hanging in there guys.

 

Will be thinking of you guys (and gals) over the next few days. Just hang in there and chin up.

[dev null]

Hope you are all hanging in there guys.

 

Will be thinking of you guys (and gals) over the next few days. Just hang in there and chin up.

 

I know how crap it is to be alone on Christmas. Have been there a few times. Everybody is at their families and everything is closed.

 

Strongs to those alone.

[Amberdrake]

Im very fortunate I have lots of family and friends around this year.

I am actually quite enjoying myself with the little ones gifts and Christmas experience.

Really just making the most of the season!

Thinking of everyone and hoping its going well! May it be a great time for everyone!

[gemmerbal]

Here's hoping everyone survived silly season, ie the festive season and for those separated parents, the start of the school year.

 

Let's get some positive vibes going, I feel a bit nostalgic, maybe its the wisdom of another year on this planet being celebrated today that is inspiring me to pen some thoughts to my brothers in arms...

 

I'm 41 today and have never been happier, well except 2 years ago when my fixed term contract ended prematurely and I was paid out the balance, thus leaving me sitting at home being paid for a while to do nothing... (false sense of happiness I know, but I'm sure you guys get what I mean)

 

Anyways, been about 3 years since the last relationship, and I'm not sorry 1 day for being single. Alone maybe, but definitely not lonely.

 

Bumped into my ex MIL on the weekend, first time I saw her since the divorce in 2013. I was close to my in-laws, they were never in favor of the divorce. My ex FIL and I had a great relationship, likewise MIL, but I never could justify to myself to stay in contact. I guess out of respect for my ex wife, and also in order to try and make a clean break and try and move on with my life. But I have missed them, specially my FIL. My own dad was not really a good example of a man, not that I didn't love him for who he was. He passed away 2 weeks after my divorce was enacted, I doubt he knew, the 2 of us were not in contact during that time, he was a selfish man, my FIL is very much a self-less man.

 

"Be that as it may"... the ex remarried about 2/3 years ago, had a kid and is living the good life. I bump into her once a year, we have a polite conversation and then go our merry way. Nothing more than that. Sometimes that part of my life seems like a movie I once watched, surreal I guess. But that's the way the cookie crumbles, so they say.

 

I'm very thankful for my 2 sisters and my mom. Specially my middle sister, we are very close, and I am enjoying the fact that I became an uncle for the first time on 28 Feb 2019. I try and be as involved as time permits with my BIL and my niece. My sister and I speak almost daily.

 

Anyhow, I was looking for a message, saw my conversation with Chainsaw and reread his kind words and felt inspired to write something.

 

Peace my bretheren, keep the rubber side down!

[Patensie]

...

 

I'm 41 today and have never been happier, well except 2 years ago when my fixed term contract ended prematurely and I was paid out the balance, thus leaving me sitting at home being paid for a while to do nothing... (false sense of happiness I know, but I'm sure you guys get what I mean)

 

...

 

Peace my bretheren, keep the rubber side down!

Happy birthday Gemmer!

 

Some good news from my side: Settlement agreement signed yesterday by soon-to-be ex. Now its is just waiting for the process to play out (summons, family advocate sign-off on family plan, court, pay the pound of flesh closest to the heart) and this sad chapter should end at the end of Feb.

 

Honestly, this is a bittersweet place, similar to the contrast of drinking double shot Americano without sugar or milk, while eating Snob's Coffee's (very sweet) cheese cake.

[Amberdrake]

Im glad to see things are going well !

I got on the bike last weekend with my daughter(star seat), was epic, so glad to be able to share that with her and my dad.

I should get my Btech this year! one subject left!

I have made the best of what it is, the divorce is going exactly no where.... 

Ex refuses to negotiate and as I changed lawyers things only now getting addressed.

From what I can discern I'm in for a long year, with my ex getting exactly what she wanted delay.

 

Now if i can get into training properly and losing 20kg odd, the struggle is real!

O yes my 3D printer is finally working like it should silently!!

[gemmerbal]

Thanks Patensie!

 

And congrats on making progress! As for it being bittersweet, now you can buy that coffee machine and make it the way you like it

Happy birthday Gemmer!

 

Some good news from my side: Settlement agreement signed yesterday by soon-to-be ex. Now its is just waiting for the process to play out (summons, family advocate sign-off on family plan, court, pay the pound of flesh closest to the heart) and this sad chapter should end at the end of Feb.

 

Honestly, this is a bittersweet place, similar to the contrast of drinking double shot Americano without sugar or milk, while eating Snob's Coffee's (very sweet) cheese cake.

[gemmerbal]

Hang in there! It seems as if you are, so just keep doing what you're doing!

 

BTech you say, what field?

 

3D printer... I must get your number in case... maybe we must do a ride sometime, drop me a PM?

 

In fact, why don't we have a divorcee ride once in a while, anyone else keen?

 

 

Im glad to see things are going well !

I got on the bike last weekend with my daughter(star seat), was epic, so glad to be able to share that with her and my dad.

I should get my Btech this year! one subject left!

I have made the best of what it is, the divorce is going exactly no where.... 

Ex refuses to negotiate and as I changed lawyers things only now getting addressed.

From what I can discern I'm in for a long year, with my ex getting exactly what she wanted delay.

 

Now if i can get into training properly and losing 20kg odd, the struggle is real!

O yes my 3D printer is finally working like it should silently!!

[New Landy new life]

Hang in there! It seems as if you are, so just keep doing what you're doing!

 

BTech you say, what field?

 

3D printer... I must get your number in case... maybe we must do a ride sometime, drop me a PM?

 

In fact, why don't we have a divorcee ride once in a while, anyone else keen?

 

Sound's like as good a reason as any to ride a bike and compare battle scars - name a weekend and place and the Capetonians can get together for a ride and a beer afterwards - Forrey's comes to mind and close to the mountain.

[Kranswurm]

Hang in there! It seems as if you are, so just keep doing what you're doing!

 

BTech you say, what field?

 

3D printer... I must get your number in case... maybe we must do a ride sometime, drop me a PM?

 

In fact, why don't we have a divorcee ride once in a while, anyone else keen?

Feeling alone or lonely?

[gemmerbal]

[emoji1787] neither really...

 

Feeling alone or lonely?

[Rocket-Boy]

 

O yes my 3D printer is finally working like it should silently!!

TMC2208/9's?

Silent fans?

[Amberdrake]

Im up for a ride, super unfit and booked out for month. Weekend of 29th I have open for a ride! Else would have to be week day or ill have to organise someone to watch little one

 

Btech Mechatronics, I work in C&I focus being Industrial Networking but good grasp on rest.

 

3D printer is Ender 3 with upgraded SKR 1.3 and 2209's with one DRV for the Extruder as there issues with linear advance and the 2209 I had installed.

Upgrading to blowers soon that ill run at 50% odd should be pretty quite.

Also looking to upgrade the PSU fan to a 120mm and the same for control board.

 

I do print on request from time to time, currently I only have PLA. ABS might be a issue with warping as there is no enclosure. PETG is option but never tried it and I honestly just can't get it cheap enough locally(Somerset shop but he only stocks affordable PLA and rarely has PETG under R450 a roll), anything shipped adds R100 and already prices the stuff out of reasonable.

I am up for experiments if you guys have need, I do design in fusion but still getting used program and teaching myself effective workflow (linked measurements references etc). I also have massive interest in the Esp8622 and ESP32 devices but that I have shelved till june as I need to focus on the Btech, that will benefit Fusion drawing more.

[Rocket-Boy]

Im up for a ride, super unfit and booked out for month. Weekend of 29th I have open for a ride! Else would have to be week day or ill have to organise someone to watch little one

 

Btech Mechatronics, I work in C&I focus being Industrial Networking but good grasp on rest.

 

3D printer is Ender 3 with upgraded SKR 1.3 and 2209's with one DRV for the Extruder as there issues with linear advance and the 2209 I had installed.

Upgrading to blowers soon that ill run at 50% odd should be pretty quite.

Also looking to upgrade the PSU fan to a 120mm and the same for control board.

 

I do print on request from time to time, currently I only have PLA. ABS might be a issue with warping as there is no enclosure. PETG is option but never tried it and I honestly just can't get it cheap enough locally(Somerset shop but he only stocks affordable PLA and rarely has PETG under R450 a roll), anything shipped adds R100 and already prices the stuff out of reasonable.

I am up for experiments if you guys have need, I do design in fusion but still getting used program and teaching myself effective workflow (linked measurements references etc). I also have massive interest in the Esp8622 and ESP32 devices but that I have shelved till june as I need to focus on the Btech, that will benefit Fusion drawing more.

I print PLA+ most of the time, ABS requires an enclosure and its not worth in my opinion. PETG is also great but its a bit expensive.

Did you go SKR1.3 for the 32-bit processing?

My ender 5 was the model that came factory fitted with the silent board and TMC2208's. Only real noise comes from cooling fans which are quite noisy. Considering doing a bullseye mod or similar. 

Also looking with interest at a Hemera/BL touch combo.