Advice on Divorce

[eddy]

Post a picture of her bicycle....

[New Landy new life]

Post a picture of her bicycle....

She's not that kind of lass, leaves that to me.

[Honkdonk]

My ex spent a week in NZ and has landed a job down in Dunedin at a University there. She will leave end of September to start in October.

The time frame for this has been very quick. She applied and had two rounds of Skype calls and then flew over last week for some one on one meetings and on Wednesday was given the gig.

 

Hardest part is she will take our two young daughters. Initially we discussed them staying with me for the two months that she is there to get settled, but my work situation makes it very difficult for me to commit to being a full time parent over what is my busy season which includes lots of travel, long hours and weekend work. So for stability we decided they go with her now. We have worked through how we go about the maintenance and contact and while its a very bitter pill to swallow for me and the hardest decision I have ever had to make I cant fight anymore. The future for them in NZ is brighter than it is here.

I have cried buckets over this.

 

The flipside for me is that it opens my work opportunities overseas as I have a UK passport and no ties to keep me here once they are gone. I can plough head first into work and making my way to getting back up on my feet financially. 

 

But it is hard none the less.

 

Not to mention a new lady who breathes fresh life into my current existence. So while it's very much still new and exciting but I am so much wiser now than before and we are both on the same page. So like the other saga, its one day at a time. And good quality time with her beats the lack of quantity time.

[Gen]

My ex spent a week in NZ and has landed a job down in Dunedin at a University there. She will leave end of September to start in October.

The time frame for this has been very quick. She applied and had two rounds of Skype calls and then flew over last week for some one on one meetings and on Wednesday was given the gig.

 

Hardest part is she will take our two young daughters. Initially we discussed them staying with me for the two months that she is there to get settled, but my work situation makes it very difficult for me to commit to being a full time parent over what is my busy season which includes lots of travel, long hours and weekend work. So for stability we decided they go with her now. We have worked through how we go about the maintenance and contact and while its a very bitter pill to swallow for me and the hardest decision I have ever had to make I cant fight anymore. The future for them in NZ is brighter than it is here.

I have cried buckets over this.

 

The flipside for me is that it opens my work opportunities overseas as I have a UK passport and no ties to keep me here once they are gone. I can plough head first into work and making my way to getting back up on my feet financially.

 

But it is hard none the less.

 

Not to mention a new lady who breathes fresh life into my current existence. So while it's very much still new and exciting but I am so much wiser now than before and we are both on the same page. So like the other saga, its one day at a time. And good quality time with her beats the lack of quantity time.

All the best for the difficult time ahead.. can't even begin to imagine how tough it must be for you.

[New Landy new life]

Must be tough with such small children Honk, feel for you.

 

I only get to see my son one weekend a month and that is very hard.

 

He turns 18 on Friday and I hope I get to see him at least for a few hours. 

[Honkdonk]

Must be tough with such small children Honk, feel for you.

 

I only get to see my son one weekend a month and that is very hard.

 

He turns 18 on Friday and I hope I get to see him at least for a few hours. 

Thanks Landy. Yes, it's very difficult.

[dev null]

Here's a bloke that dodged a major bullet. Hope none of you are married to such a women.

 

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/a22838613/wedding-shaming-twitter-thread/

[BaGearA]

Here's a bloke that dodged a major bullet. Hope none of you are married to such a women.

 

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/a22838613/wedding-shaming-twitter-thread/

LOL     

[Mojoman]

Here's a bloke that dodged a major bullet. Hope none of you are married to such a women.

 

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/a22838613/wedding-shaming-twitter-thread/

I was just going to have a bring and braai if I ever got married....

[Gen]

I was just going to have a bring and braai if I ever got married....

Best thing to do .. people spend way too much money on their wedding day.

[Honkdonk]

So they leave on the 18th October. I spent this afternoon getting all the documentation signed and done.

 

I sent my eldest daughter a email yesterday. We created a gmail account for her a while back, she doesn't have access to it yet. But I wanted to tell her how i felt and what my reasons were for leaving her Mom and how I felt about them leaving. I sobbed hard. Tears and snot pouring while I typed it out. I don't expect her to read it or reply, yet - I just needed to get it off my chest and some times its easier to write than it is to talk.

 

I never ever thought it would come to this

[Uni]

So they leave on the 18th October. I spent this afternoon getting all the documentation signed and done.

 

I sent my eldest daughter a email yesterday. We created a gmail account for her a while back, she doesn't have access to it yet. But I wanted to tell her how i felt and what my reasons were for leaving her Mom and how I felt about them leaving. I sobbed hard. Tears and snot pouring while I typed it out. I don't expect her to read it or reply, yet - I just needed to get it off my chest and some times its easier to write than it is to talk.

 

I never ever thought it would come to this

Let technology help you say what you can't. They will ask why, and all you can do is keep telling them you love them.

 

I'm not a mother but i am a daughter. They will always be your babies. And each day our world gets smaller.

*hug*

[Slowbee]

Jeepers Honk, that is gut wrenching.

[New Landy new life]

Aai man. Just know that they will take all the good memories of you with them.

I also did the mail to both my kids but did not go into much detail but just to tell them how much I regretted what had happened and how much I still love them. Never got a return mail but at least they know their old man cares for them both.

[GrahamS2]

So they leave on the 18th October. I spent this afternoon getting all the documentation signed and done.

 

I sent my eldest daughter a email yesterday. We created a gmail account for her a while back, she doesn't have access to it yet. But I wanted to tell her how i felt and what my reasons were for leaving her Mom and how I felt about them leaving. I sobbed hard. Tears and snot pouring while I typed it out. I don't expect her to read it or reply, yet - I just needed to get it off my chest and some times its easier to write than it is to talk.

 

I never ever thought it would come to this

Letting them go to a better future is just about the most selfless thing you can do. They will realise that at some stage.

[Slowbee]

Much respect Honk.

 

Agree with Graham - and I hope they will see it the same way some day.