Advice on Divorce

[Uni]

The religious issue is a hectic one....to be trapped in a marriage for life because of a relgious vow and fear of hellfire is sad, when one partner does not pull their weight. The other partner is left to either abondon their faith or live a life fufilling their vow to unconditionally respect and honour the other partner. There is a word for lifelong service like this of the unconditional kind.....its called slavery. This is in terms of folks that take the "till death we part" very literally.

We're on the same page. I've been chatting to a women on Twitter she's in her 40s.her husband has cheated on her many times but she feels she has to stand by him as she made a commitment to him till death etc. She's miserable, angry - every day. I don't agree with her decision, but I'll support her.

[blondeonabike]

I will try and answer

 

as best I can.

 

Marriage was not deigned as a trap at all.  If you think back to when you were first married it was really great.

 

Because we don't follow the manual, we end up through our own fault's  in a mess.

 

I personally don't question the rules set out or why, as you say it is either one sided or the other partner want's out, but I just believe as it says, that each marriage was set out for us.

 

One has the free choice to leave yes, but there will obviously be judgement one day, but at least those that do believe, have the Grace at the end when we eventually push daisies. 

 

Hope that explains it more or less correctly.

I fully understand the theology..but your conclusions are based on the bible being true. Ill leave things there to not derail the thread further. Thanks for sharing.

[New Landy new life]

I fully understand the theology..but your conclusions are based on the bible being true. Ill leave things there to not derail the thread further. Thanks for sharing.

Cool, no worries.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

We're on the same page. I've been chatting to a women on Twitter she's in her 40s.her husband has cheated on her many times but she feels she has to stand by him as she made a commitment to him till death etc. She's miserable, angry - every day. I don't agree with her decision, but I'll support her.

This is important. You can still support someone without supporting their decision. They are not mutually exclusive. 

[Stretch]

Geez....This was the ONE thread that stayed generally on-topic.....

I would say it is still very much on track.. Everything being discussed is the precursor or post cursor to divorce/separation whatever it might be

[dev null]

I am glad I toughed it out for a few years when my wife went off the beaten track. Today I have a partner that I know will stand by me when things go bad. And she is a brilliant riding partner, always supporting and encouraging me when I struggle. And I know that we will have something to do together that is fun when the kids are all out of the house and things get boring.

 

BUT, you have to have the wisdom to know when you have to tough it out through the storm and troubled waters, and when you have to abandon ship because it is on it's way to the bottom.

Edited May 9, 2018 by Moridin

[Bloukrans]

It's ok to take a look at the menu but you dine at home

...and if there is a doggy bag

[Bateleur1]

...and if there is a doggy bag

 

You mean take-aways 

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

You mean take-aways 

Whoooooosh

[Patchelicious]

I am glad I toughed it out for a few years when my wife went off the beaten track. Today I have a partner that I know will stand by me when things go bad. And she is a brilliant riding partner, always supporting and encouraging me when I struggle. And I know that we will have something to do together that is fun when the kids are all out of the house and things get boring.

 

BUT, you have to have the wisdom to know when you have to tough it out through the storm and troubled waters, and when you have to abandon ship because it is on it's way to the bottom.

Wisdom always comes at a cost.

[Capricorn]

Wisdom always comes at a cost.

remind me of a truism: experience, that thing you get just after you needed it.

[HDW]

Truly inspiring quotes all around, guys.

 

Wie nie waag nie, saag nie.

[eddy]

Same here, and I also don't believe in polygamy, one woman is enough.

.

It reminds me of the cynic's view that whilst bigamy is defined as having one wife too many, so is marriage.... Edited May 9, 2018 by eddy

[Shebeen]

I believe that God chooses the partner for us and it is up to us both to keep the marriage together through sacrifice and doing our part without expecting anything in return. If you do this there is a good chance of success. As it says, husbands love your wives unconditionally and wives respect and honour your husband unconditionally. (Know I will get flamed for that one)

This makes zero sense to me, sort of thing I'd expect to hear from an abbey monk in the 16th century.

 

I don't understand why you would want to put blind faith in something as crucial as this, but at the same time expect to get flamed for having this viewpoint. "I choose not to see the light."

[Slowbee]

Chaps, this is a great thread for many reasons.

 

But as with all threads (and history) when religion starts, things go south.

 

So can we please drop the religious and get back to the focus.

 

Asking as a hubber, not a moderator.

[Mudsimus]

I believe that God chooses the partner for us..

To quote Depeche Mode " I think that God's got a sick sense of humour.." Either that or he played a piss matchmaker in some relationships.