Advice on Divorce

[Long Wheel Base]

It stopped being about the kids at those parties a while ago. Now its a chance to impress the other mommies. My wife owns a cake shop and says that some of the 1st and 2nd birthday cakes are getting more expensive than wedding cakes! 

Seriously does a 1 or 2 year old even notice the cake? I think not, but the other mommies sure do!

Flip this is news to me. We busy looking on pinterest for ideas on cakes. My lightie loves blaze and the monster machines and we going to make it ourselves. Even going to do a trial run soon. I don't give a stuff what the other mommies think.

[Long Wheel Base]

Sorry for derailing this thread. My apologies.

[Rocket-Boy]

Yup. 

 

Google "Cake Smash". Looks fantastic in pictures, but all it is is a popularity contest. OMG look how I spoil my child it's sooooooo *cute*!

 

Essentially it's a contest to see who can ruin the most expensive cake. Drove me mental when I was still married. 

Its become a thing to order two cakes now, one for everyone to eat and another literally for the kid to smash. When my wife was trying to explain it my brain kept rejecting the idea that humanity could have sunk to such a level

[Patensie]

Its become a thing to order two cakes now, one for everyone to eat and another literally for the kid to smash. When my wife was trying to explain it my brain kept rejecting the idea that humanity could have sunk to such a level

what a waste...i make a pinata and the kids can moer that with my knopkierie. It's well reinforced so it keeps 'em busy for a while.

[Thor Buttox]

Its become a thing to order two cakes now, one for everyone to eat and another literally for the kid to smash. When my wife was trying to explain it my brain kept rejecting the idea that humanity could have sunk to such a level

'The Purge 3: Koekiemoer' just keeps making more and more sense.

[CAAD4]

Yup.

 

Google "Cake Smash". Looks fantastic in pictures, but all it is is a popularity contest. OMG look how I spoil my child it's sooooooo *cute*!

 

Essentially it's a contest to see who can ruin the most expensive cake. Drove me mental when I was still married.

I haven't watched that, but in order to try and relieve my irritation, I used to shout "put your finger in the cake") after we all sang happy birthday. It was priceless to see the hesitation, then utter joy, as the laaities would stab their finger into the designer cake and be a kid.

 

Apologies for the derailment. I feel better now.

As you were

[Gen]

Its become a thing to order two cakes now, one for everyone to eat and another literally for the kid to smash. When my wife was trying to explain it my brain kept rejecting the idea that humanity could have sunk to such a level

It is like trash the dress at weddings..stupid and a waste of money.

[Honkdonk]

How is it going Donk ?

Hey Landy. Its going ok thanks

We communciate via whatsapp every other day or so. Not as much as I'd like but its the best of a *** situation. The time difference makes it tricky.

They have started schools and are settling in, but its still fresh - it will be a month on Thursday.

My youngest adapts to anything. She's the type that throws the door open and announces her arrival whereas my eldest is the total opposite. She is in a school temporarily until the end of year and then begins her perm school next year, so thats another change and effort to make friends. I feel deeply for her. I went through it 3 times before I was 11 - moved from Zambia to the UK, then to Canada and then landed up in Orkney in the old Wes Transvaal in the Oct of '82 so I know well what its like to change schools and to try and get a circle of friends.

But from what I am told, people over there are very accommodating, friendly and respectful

 

As for me?

I cleared up all their left over toys, books etc this week into a crate and packed it away. That was hard. Signs of them all round my house. I sold their bunks in no time and now have a spare room for bikes and other bits and pieces.

I need to look at moving out of my place into something smaller and cheaper. I dont need the space I have. I need a simple lock up and go.

I am very busy with work with lots going on, so that keeps me occupied thankfully. My lady friend and I are keeping things light and easy.

 

I guess the worse part is not knowing when I will see them again, so I need to hatch a plan for that, the hurdle is you cant go to NZ for a week, it needs to be 10 - 14 days and that comes at a price. My rough estimates put it at around 80 - 100k for flights, accom, car rental, spending money etc. Not exactly small change.. My ex wont have me staying at their place - for now that is... things might change.

 

The first week was very hard though. I was close to tears every day and still am at times. A song on the radio, or a shelf in the shop with mags and toys, the sight of a young family at a restaurant etc.. Time heals, but it doesn't take away from the reality of a new normal.

[New Landy new life]

I also still struggle like hell with the rollercoaster ride through good, sad and lonely days that is my new existence. It seemed to be going good for a while and then hit a big bump again and cut me down to size all over again. Especially hearing the X has moved on.

[GrahamS2]

My rough estimates put it at around 80 - 100k for flights, accom, car rental, spending money etc. Not exactly small change..

For 1 person to spend 2 weeks in NZ? Unless you stay at high-end hotels and eat out daily, you can do it for a LOT less than that. Heck, I know a family of 4 doing a 3 week trip there in Dec for R80k.

[Honkdonk]

Not having looked at costs there, it was my first guesstimate.. Once I get an idea of school holidays etc I'll be able to fine tune, but thats the figure I had in mind. At least if it ends up being 60k I'll be greatfull. Rather overs than unders..

[dirtypot]

Take your bike with you and use Warm Showers.  Free accommodation, you'll have your transport with you and you'll be able to hit some trails.  Win win win.

[l4y3rcake]

For 1 person to spend 2 weeks in NZ? Unless you stay at high-end hotels and eat out daily, you can do it for a LOT less than that. Heck, I know a family of 4 doing a 3 week trip there in Dec for R80k.

We are going in Feb for a wedding. Waited for Quantus to run their specials and got a return flight at 15k per person. Accomodation is hella expensive. Got a place on AirBnB and we are paying close on 3k a night for the 2 of us. So all in we are looking at 60k without visas(R2500p/p) car rental or spending.

[GrahamS2]

We are going in Feb for a wedding. Waited for Quantus to run their specials and got a return flight at 15k per person. Accomodation is hella expensive. Got a place on AirBnB and we are paying close on 3k a night for the 2 of us. So all in we are looking at 60k without visas(R2500p/p) car rental or spending.

Qantas tickets to Auckland are R10200 pp through Discovery Vitality. Staying with mates is free  

[l4y3rcake]

Qantas tickets to Auckland are R10200 pp through Discovery Vitality. Staying with mates is free

We're going to Wellington and we are not Vitality members. The cheapest Emirates flight we could find to Wellington was almost R25k. Same with Quantus but they run a buy one get one free special every year that brings the ticket with taxes down to just below 15k.

 

If we could stay with mates we would have. Remember we are going for a wedding so many people are going and not everyone can stay with the bride and groom. If you don't have family/friends couches to sleep on, NZL is expensive.

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

We're going to Wellington and we are not Vitality members. The cheapest Emirates flight we could find to Wellington was almost R25k. Same with Quantus but they run a buy one get one free special every year that brings the ticket with taxes down to just below 15k.

 

If we could stay with mates we would have. Remember we are going for a wedding so many people are going and not everyone can stay with the bride and groom. If you don't have family/friends couches to sleep on, NZL is expensive.

 

Friend of mine was looking at relocating. The cost of living in NZL is 52% higher than here. Thats insane, plus you are obliged to marry a sheep apparently............