Advice on Divorce

[HDW]

My wife and I went to an "engagement encounter" weekend, organized by the church, before we got married. One of the "rules" they taught us was you can argue as much as you like, just both parties must take off all of their clothes first!

 

That weekend was an interesting experience. There were about 15 couples there and we suspect that quite a few never got as far as their weddings. We survived the weekend and we are still married 25 years later.

 

Sounds like my kind of church.

[HDW]

Probably the best advice we received before getting married was to "manage your expectations".

 

Be realistic of what you expect from your partner, and communicate it. Don't expect to be spoiled rotten on your birthday, but when asked about what you want to do say things like: "ag, whatever, don't worry too much about it, lets just do something nice together.". Your partner is a person, with all the limitations of one. Manage your expectations and be realistic.

[Thor Buttox]

just make sure they are not yours.

You have to be specific because from the wrong angle my thong looks like an eye patch.

[SURFER]

Probably the best advice we received before getting married was to "manage your expectations".

 

Be realistic of what you expect from your partner, and communicate it. Don't expect to be spoiled rotten on your birthday, but when asked about what you want to do say things like: "ag, whatever, don't worry too much about it, lets just do something nice together.". Your partner is a person, with all the limitations of one. Manage your expectations and be realistic.

 

 

Wise words.   

[DJR]

Probably the best advice we received before getting married was to "manage your expectations".

...............

The tongue in cheek advice I got was this:

 

On your first night as a married couple, take a bath together......but make sure that you do not get to sit on the plug side of the bath.....or you will sit there for the rest of your life!

 

Of course that is, proverbially, where I ended up!   

 

More seriously, I think it is about fairly re-defining your roles, and to keep doing that over the years. To allow each other to stay individuals and grow as people, but to also work out how you work together as a team. Because as a team, you can achieve more. Perhaps for me, the most difficult thing is to manage change, and that is precisely what a marriage calls for, all the time.

[Stretch]

Sounds like my kind of church.

Because we were married in a church we had to go to wedding "lessons" held by the church... First meeting he told us that most couples that live together before marriage end up in divorce.... Didn't listen to much he had to say after that

[Blokman]

Dof joke . Deleted

Edited May 18, 2018 by Blokman

[New Landy new life]

is it broken ? ...... no .... go ride more ...

 

is it broken? ........yes.....can I still shower shave and shampoo ......yes .... go ride more

 

is it broken? ......yes....I cant do anything .....call the plumber ... go ride more

 

decision tree done

 

You left out question 4 which is the most important:

 

4.  Will another bird ever move in here and use this bathroom the way it looks now . - go work more to pay for the repairs and ride less 

[blondeonabike]

You left out question 4 which is the most important:

 

4.  Will another bird ever move in here and use this bathroom the way it looks now . - go work more to pay for the repairs and ride less 

Dont bother with the bathroom. Whatever you do a new bird is going to want to change it anyway! As long as thr toilet can flush its cool

[i24]

Sounds like my kind of church.

Catholic Church actually.

 

Some of the other lessons included family planning (without using contraceptives) and the sin of fornication before you are married. However they conceded that everybody's has a free choice. My wife suggested, and I agreed, that we should apply our own "interpretation" to  these suggestions.

 

But other lessons were more interesting. Like stand and face your partner with your hand behind your back. On the count of three show your hand, holding up one finger for each child you would like to have. We were given about 15 seconds warning for that one, so no time for 2nd guessing.

[New Landy new life]

Oh crap - means my choice of matt black fittings, like a weaverbird nest, may end on the dump [emoji44]

Dont bother with the bathroom. Whatever you do a new bird is going to want to change it anyway! As long as thr toilet can flush its cool

Edited May 20, 2018 by NoMore Landy

[blondeonabike]

Oh crap - means my choice of matt black fittings, like a weaverbird nest, may end on the dump [emoji44]

Not necessarily...you are now in a position to adopt the "take it or leave it " strategy. Eg...do your bathroom the way you like, leave all your bikes in the lounge and indulge yourself in all your hearts desires. The right girl will accept it or just move off. Good long term strategy as you are priming her from the start to manage her expectations. Edited May 20, 2018 by blondeonabike

[New Landy new life]

Not necessarily...you are now in a position to adopt the "take it or leave it " strategy. Eg...do your bathroom the way you like, leave all your bikes in the lounge and indulge yourself in all your hearts desires. The right girl will accept it or just move off. Good long term strategy as you are priming her from the start to manage her expectations.

 

Luckily have my daughter to give a feminine touch to the new setup so at least it is user friendly.

 

Had to rush out this am and get a "Basket" and hooks for all the shower accessories to fit in - she has like 3 or 4 bottles of stuff, no idea what for.

 

I have a soap and shampoo - simple creature.

[HDW]

Catholic Church actually.

 

Some of the other lessons included family planning (without using contraceptives) and the sin of fornication before you are married. However they conceded that everybody's has a free choice. My wife suggested, and I agreed, that we should apply our own "interpretation" to  these suggestions.

 

But other lessons were more interesting. Like stand and face your partner with your hand behind your back. On the count of three show your hand, holding up one finger for each child you would like to have. We were given about 15 seconds warning for that one, so no time for 2nd guessing.

 

Funny stuff, I find it quite interesting.

[Paul Ruinaard]

You are pretty much guaranteed that the new "bird" will ensure the nest is cleansed before she decides to settle there.

 

Secondly you will likely end up with all your boy toy/bachelor pad goodies you loved in a box in the garage which will be given to the gardener if she moves in and sets up home with you.

 

Dont fight it mate - its part of the rules of second relationships: Before you load wife 2.0 all of wife 1.0 and interim development copies of girlfriend, mistress and beta copies of wife 1.5 will have to be completely uninstalled and the hardware completely reformatted as the new OS will need all the resources available. And if you dont do this and some remnants of the prior operating systems are found tucked away in secret partitions or password protected archives you are ensured the new OS will not load. Hours will be spent trouble shooting your intentions when you preserved these contraband versions of your operating model and likely will delay loading of wife 2.0 for extended periods whilst hardware is further scoured as the uninstall process on first try was clearly faulty.

Edited May 21, 2018 by Paul Ruinaard

[Zatopek]

You are pretty much guaranteed that the new "bird" will ensure the nest is cleansed before she decides to settle there.

 

Secondly you will likely end up with all your boy toy/bachelor pad goodies you loved in a box in the garage which will be given to the gardener if she moves in and sets up home with you.

 

Dont fight it mate - its part of the rules of second relationships: Before you load wife 2.0 all of wife 1.0 and interim development copies of girlfriend, mistress and beta copies of wife 1.5 will have to be completely uninstalled and the hardware completely reformatted as the new OS will need all the resources available. And if you dont do this and some remnants of the prior operating systems are found tucked away in secret partitions or password protected archives you are ensured the new OS will not load. Hours will be spent trouble shooting your intentions when you preserved these contraband versions of your operating model and likely will delay loading of wife 2.0 for extended periods whilst hardware is further scoured as the uninstall process on first try was clearly faulty.

 

The physical remnants is easier to get rid off, but how do you manage the memories and experiences from an earlier life - It is not easy/impossible to erase a significant period of your life.

 

I have a arrangement with wife 2.0 that if we end up in a place or moment where a memory, experience or funny moment hit the memory bank, I will rather share it than remember it only to myself with a smile. It came with the package...