Assaulted by fellow cyclist- Cradle 6 November

[Zebra]

On 11/22/2022 at 3:49 PM, 117 said:

👆

I can assure the good hubbers in this world, offering a reward will not help.

Rather donate your hard earned coins to Choc or OUTA or something where it will be used to good use. Dont get me wrong here, I just think the offer of reward is futile

 

May not help. You do not know - for certain - that it WILL not help.

As you were...

[117]

At least the grammar police work 😉

[SwissVan]

7 hours ago, DIPSLICK said:

Swiss, as I said before like seeks like, I have been in groups where a split second of anger could escalate and Both times involved cyclists and vehicles, I have always chased down the group rider on his way to do something stupid  and asked them "really is it worth it/ are you just plane dumb, leave it." There are at  least 3 hubbers off the top of my head  that I have rode with that could confirm. And yes I would primarily try to deescalate the situation or jump between them, say I was not successful and this situation presented itself, I am 100% sure I would convince the attacker to do the right thing, to be honest, and step up and do the right thing, I chose my cycling groups carefully, A) I want it to be fun B) I want it to be fun C) I want everyone going home in one piece,,,,,,,and D) most importantly I want to keep up

 

long story short, I will get the 2 parties together

 

 

Most admirable indeed

But the question was would you split on your buddy for a reward?

[SwissVan]

7 hours ago, Chadvdw67 said:

Would you really want to be friends with a person who has such a horrible temperament?

In hindsight probably not

The thing is, we all have our moments of madness and maybe the attacker had one of those days and *just lost it…. Other days he might be a normal person, just like most of your or my friends.

*Not condoning his actions

[Chadvdw67]

5 minutes ago, SwissVan said:

In hindsight probably not

The thing is, we all have our moments of madness and maybe the attacker had one of those days and *just lost it…. Other days he might be a normal person, just like most of your or my friends.

*Not condoning his actions

Sorry, but I have never met a decent person who would blow up like that just because they had a bad day, maybe scream and shout some profanities at the person, but not go out of their way to catch up to proceed to bludgeon them, that is a different kind of person

[The Ouzo]

2 minutes ago, Chadvdw67 said:

Sorry, but I have never met a decent person who would blow up like that just because they had a bad day, maybe scream and shout some profanities at the person, but not go out of their way to catch up to proceed to bludgeon them, that is a different kind of person

actually you have met such a person, me.

fortunately after nearly stabbing a classmate with a screw driver in high school I realised I need to find ways to control my temper and since then have at the most resorted to extremely foul language.

When there are daemons inside you (figuratively) there can be a series of triggers culminating in you loosing all moral sense. This is one of the main reasons I dont own a firearm, I dont trust myself.

It does not excuse this guy, he is an adult, and by the sounds of things OP tried to defuse the situation. By his actions it also sounds to me that this is not the first time he has done something like this. He should get whatever is coming to him.

[Chadvdw67]

4 minutes ago, The Ouzo said:

actually you have met such a person, me.

fortunately after nearly stabbing a classmate with a screw driver in high school I realised I need to find ways to control my temper and since then have at the most resorted to extremely foul language.

When there are daemons inside you (figuratively) there can be a series of triggers culminating in you loosing all moral sense. This is one of the main reasons I dont own a firearm, I dont trust myself.

It does not excuse this guy, he is an adult, and by the sounds of things OP tried to defuse the situation. By his actions it also sounds to me that this is not the first time he has done something like this. He should get whatever is coming to him.

I did say never met a "DECENT" person who would...... 😋🤣

 

Please dont come stab me now....

Edited November 24, 2022 by Chadvdw67

[The Ouzo]

6 minutes ago, Chadvdw67 said:

I did say never met a "DECENT" person who would...... 😋🤣

 

Please dont come stab me now....

I know where you live  

 

Cycling certainly helps clear the head of daemons. And I guess throwing some maturity into the mix also helps.

 

 

Off topic. We should ride together again soon. Promise I'll leave the toolkit at home  

[TheoG]

27 minutes ago, The Ouzo said:

actually you have met such a person, me.

fortunately after nearly stabbing a classmate with a screw driver in high school I realised I need to find ways to control my temper and since then have at the most resorted to extremely foul language.

When there are daemons inside you (figuratively) there can be a series of triggers culminating in you loosing all moral sense. This is one of the main reasons I dont own a firearm, I dont trust myself.

It does not excuse this guy, he is an adult, and by the sounds of things OP tried to defuse the situation. By his actions it also sounds to me that this is not the first time he has done something like this. He should get whatever is coming to him.

Remind me to never ever mess with you ... 🙈🤪😂

[Blokman]

5 hours ago, The Ouzo said:

actually you have met such a person, me.

fortunately after nearly stabbing a classmate with a screw driver in high school I realised I need to find ways to control my temper and since then have at the most resorted to extremely foul language.

When there are daemons inside you (figuratively) there can be a series of triggers culminating in you loosing all moral sense. This is one of the main reasons I dont own a firearm, I dont trust myself.

It does not excuse this guy, he is an adult, and by the sounds of things OP tried to defuse the situation. By his actions it also sounds to me that this is not the first time he has done something like this. He should get whatever is coming to him.

https://hubermanlab.com/understanding-and-controlling-aggression/

Hi Ouzo this is not pop psychology. May be worth looking at. 

And a few dozen other topics that I find fascinating. I now listen to this bloke on my way to work instead of Escom and politics. 

There's one on the use of alcohol that was worth listening to. He is a doctor of neurobiology with an interest in many subjects . Focus, increasing performance,, supplements ,training (mostly gymwork), stretching it's all there. 

Sorry I'm not trying to sound like a know all or dish out random advice.

[madmarc]

5 hours ago, The Ouzo said:

actually you have met such a person, me.

fortunately after nearly stabbing a classmate with a screw driver in high school I realised I need to find ways to control my temper and since then have at the most resorted to extremely foul language.

When there are daemons inside you (figuratively) there can be a series of triggers culminating in you loosing all moral sense. This is one of the main reasons I dont own a firearm, I dont trust myself.

It does not excuse this guy, he is an adult, and by the sounds of things OP tried to defuse the situation. By his actions it also sounds to me that this is not the first time he has done something like this. He should get whatever is coming to him.

 

Jussie dude!! I'll remember this, should I happen to encounter you out there on a ride, i'll simply tip my hat and go on by 🤣

Jokes aside, i'm the same, there are certain triggers that send me into a blind rage all i see is red, during these episodes i have no care of the outcome or results of my actions - When the red curtain lifts i'm actually astonished at my own reaction.

The way i've handled it - Keep my mouth shut and remove myself from the environment as soon as possible - I disengage completely.  

[The Ouzo]

12 hours ago, Blokman said:

https://hubermanlab.com/understanding-and-controlling-aggression/

Hi Ouzo this is not pop psychology. May be worth looking at. 

And a few dozen other topics that I find fascinating. I now listen to this bloke on my way to work instead of Escom and politics. 

There's one on the use of alcohol that was worth listening to. He is a doctor of neurobiology with an interest in many subjects . Focus, increasing performance,, supplements ,training (mostly gymwork), stretching it's all there. 

Sorry I'm not trying to sound like a know all or dish out random advice.

 

11 hours ago, madmarc said:

 

Jussie dude!! I'll remember this, should I happen to encounter you out there on a ride, i'll simply tip my hat and go on by 🤣

Jokes aside, i'm the same, there are certain triggers that send me into a blind rage all i see is red, during these episodes i have no care of the outcome or results of my actions - When the red curtain lifts i'm actually astonished at my own reaction.

The way i've handled it - Keep my mouth shut and remove myself from the environment as soon as possible - I disengage completely.  

The incident mentioned was more than 30 years ago, I have (for the most part) kept things under control since then. Knowing you have a problem is the first step, recognising the effects of the triggers is the next. As mentioned above, the best way to deal with it is to remove yourself from the situation. Most of the times the trigger that is sending you over the edge is so stupidly small that on its own its not worth getting upset about. When you realise stupid things like this are tripping you up its time to step back.

Learning to laugh at yourself with others is probably one of the best methods.

 

But like I said folks, the incident was more than 30 years ago, I'm not a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, I've been down graded to a stink bomb at best.  

[dave303e]

18 hours ago, SwissVan said:

Most admirable indeed

But the question was would you split on your buddy for a reward?

no, I would turn him in because he is a p.......s and donate the reward to the spca. but that is me...

[Paul Ruinaard]

1 hour ago, The Ouzo said:

 

The incident mentioned was more than 30 years ago, I have (for the most part) kept things under control since then. Knowing you have a problem is the first step, recognising the effects of the triggers is the next. As mentioned above, the best way to deal with it is to remove yourself from the situation. Most of the times the trigger that is sending you over the edge is so stupidly small that on its own its not worth getting upset about. When you realise stupid things like this are tripping you up its time to step back.

Learning to laugh at yourself with others is probably one of the best methods.

 

But like I said folks, the incident was more than 30 years ago, I'm not a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, I've been down graded to a stink bomb at best.  

Hmm very interesting reading for me personally. I have noticed i have a trigger and even if i get slapped by a branch in the face on a bike ride I absolutely hate it and it ruins my day. I have no idea where it came from but its intense and feelings triggered are uncontrollable rage.

I have worked out  if you hit me in the face for some reason its like a blind rage that builds inside and the red mist descends and I will attack without any consideration of the outcome. In the dark distant past of the biggest bullies in high school slapped me for some unknown reason. The sort of guy who was fighting every weekend with the gangs, not to be messed with and an evil person. Think he ended up in prison or a record for violent assault and GBH. Gym bunny, roid rage, first team hooker etc.  I turned and walked away as I was a lot smaller and less strong and less inclined to fight. Somewhere in this he dropped his guard which was his mistake because as a the rage built I turned and launched myself at him and just carried on hitting him and using everything within reach to beat him with. I would not stop and it took a number of guys to pull me off. Logically at that point i was in big trouble and i was thankful there were guys around to stop the fight as i was in for a can of whip ass. And this was evident from the beginning. There was and us still no way on this earth i would have in my right mind picked a fight with him or even tried. I would just have swallowed my pride and walked away. .

Roll that forward and now I know at this age that i have this alter ego in me capable of dark things and have even warned people about this. Its completely consuming and literally a red mist descends and as you say because of this i will not own a gun. I am the sort of person who will pull a trigger with zero remorse and if activated would pull it multiple times. I don't need or shouldn't be allowed guns and the like .

In summary thanks for the share it helped me share something i have really kept a secret for a long time.

 

How does this relate to the OP - well some piece of me feels for the person who is charging around assaulting people as he is a very scared individual who is externalising rage and possibly abuse he suffered and a piece of me wants to see him helped. Everyone deserves to be given help and a chance to redeem themselves. I am not sure if he is vicariously following this - but i am sure this rage inside him wasn't built out of a single incident and he also needs to know he can and will get well if he faces his demons.

cheers happy Friday. Good luck to the DC competitors. the wind is evil down here.

[Robbie Stewart]

2 minutes ago, Paul Ruinaard said:

Roll that forward and now I know at this age that i have this alter ego in me capable of dark things and have even warned people about this. Its completely consuming and literally a red mist descends and as you say because of this i will not own a gun.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have this same problem. 

I have to work very hard to suppress that inner-darkness that wants to boil over and destroy everything in sight. I also grew up in a school (mostly primary) where I was beat up many times as a laaitie. I also have two brothers, and I learnt to fight, but more than that, I learnt to really hurt people. 

The day my father came to me and said the next time I hit my brothers he will have me arrested because I have the size and ability to inflict serious harm, or even go too far is when I realised I have a problem that needs addressing. 

I'm 46 now and I still have days where I have to actively work inside myself to not do what every fibre of my being wants me to do. I now have an inner peace that comes from Elsewhere, and only that Peace that He gives me allows me to suppress the rage.

[Paul Ruinaard]

15 minutes ago, Robbie Stewart said:

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have this same problem. 

I have to work very hard to suppress that inner-darkness that wants to boil over and destroy everything in sight. I also grew up in a school (mostly primary) where I was beat up many times as a laaitie. I also have two brothers, and I learnt to fight, but more than that, I learnt to really hurt people. 

The day my father came to me and said the next time I hit my brothers he will have me arrested because I have the size and ability to inflict serious harm, or even go too far is when I realised I have a problem that needs addressing. 

I'm 46 now and I still have days where I have to actively work inside myself to not do what every fibre of my being wants me to do. I now have an inner peace that comes from Elsewhere, and only that Peace that He gives me allows me to suppress the rage.

Hmm

the piece about working out very quickly how to inflict maximum hurt is eye opening. For me  If i was in the past triggered I would use bottles, bricks, guns, poles etc.

I am also aware i don't register pain when triggered. I can feel the blows if someone strikes back  but i just don't register - its like a dull impact but no pain.

I have had a memory of people in a situation many years ago much older, stronger and more mature hitting back in the hope it would stop me but i would just carry on coming. My brother was 6 years older than me and he and his friends knew to stay away and not trigger me.

Like you say - formative years and a long time ago. I still find myself working out the odds in tight situations and a calmness descends, things go quiet and i make decisions very quickly. In hindsight people are amazed at how i change and will go from retreat and walk away to attack and forward.

Again i recognise this in situations and cant say i would have done what happened here to the OP as this was deliberate - but inside every one of us lives a shadow, you need to embrace and love that darkness. Very pop psych and all but also pretty necessary. Inner kids etc are also part of us.

Many hours on bikes and very extreme distances also helped to run away from some of this stuff